Journal of a JW - Part 3 of 5

Nosferatu

Part 2 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152631/1.ashx

March 3/93

Dear Journel,

Dispite the fact I haven't typed in this I have need this Journel.

As regards my last entry, things have gotten worse. Victor hasen't phoned to apologised to me, in fact I have only gotten one obsseen phone call in the middle ofthe day. Anntte thinks I'm stupid and I honestly think I have lost a friend ship with Victor, for good. This may not seem like alot but I don't have that manz frj__Y___jd$D_¦"hT_d-_bl-m__K_KhN+_Y_MY__JY+Y¦_G_K+_Y__JI_J+¦_J__NZ+KhNJ_+_HG_
K_YK_MY__JYJMZNt

(This entry was cut short by a corrupted sector on the floppy disk)

Dear Journel,

There are days when I feel I've got things firgured out emotionaly, mentaly. But It's amazing what just one wrong word,phrase, or action sends my supervisor speaks that makes me question my very existance and my attitude. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I thought that if I type it out I might feel better. As always my problems centers around work. One wrong movement sends my boss into a fighting mode. I feel terrible, I have bad cold and I did something very stupid at work. I motioned to Bill hold on a moment when he wanted to see me about something. Later when, I need something to do he questiond me about whether or not I deserved to even have more work. I did know what he was getting at, that is till now. I insulted him, seems trivial but this is Bill we are talking about. I can't seem to shake this dredful feeling of hopelessness. You know the very reason I type in this is to express my feelings and the only timr I think of anything is when I'm at work not when I'm sitting at the computer. I truely don't know what is going to happen on Monday but I do know that Bill hasen't fired me yet, maybe Monday, who knows I trurely think that the brady is getting to me. I also know that I won't stop thinking about this till Monday. What will happen, maybe Bill will be human and understand why I did as I did and forgive me or at the least not hold it against me, which isn't very likely I'm afraid. So till then good night Journel till tomarrow.

Dear Journel,

Things have been kind of crazy lately so that is why I haven't typed in this for so long. Well, alot has happend for starters I been sick for the past 2 weeks causing me to miss most of my meetings and service.

I have had 2 invitations to study in a family unit. I was afraid to accapt but after talking to Brenda Pollock I realize it would be stupid to turn it down. I'm also feeling better about going to the elders in Belmoral because I found out that they have helped a brother who has the same problems that I do, they arn't afraid to deal with the problems that he has.

Also I have recieved an invatiaion to join the Lansdown cong. in one of there get to gethers in 2 weeks by none other then Reta Drake herself. As usual they asked if I were still in the trueth but I hopefully assured them that I still have the trueth still in me, I'm still hanging on. I said that I would. It's on a Sunday and I do go over to moms afterward. I'm scared to do it but I must try.

Dear Journel,

I just got off the phone with my father I love talking to him, he makes me feel better even though I feel terrible. These past 3 weeks I have had a terrible cold and this past weekend I have been down sick in bed with it, and I mean with the whole shabbang. Barffing, chills, fever, exploding head, the works. Mom told me to stay at home if I feel that bad, I guess I took offence at first but I can understand her reasoning now. She felt that Bill's health was moe important than my sickness, the same old game as before or that ever was, there is nothing she can do for me, I am an adult I should be able to take care of myself especially since I live so far from them. There are time's when I feel like I should give up with trying to keep this family communicating, so very tired.

Journal of a JW - Part 3 of 5

Nosferatu

JK666

Hope4Others

VoidEater

SirNose586

Share this