The Deadly Quicksand of Deficit Spending
"It is then that the movie turns into a farce, as Ms. Pelosi is crying out, 'Quick! Give him some more money!' Hahahaha! Nice work, Ms. Pelosi! Groucho Marx would have been proud of us both!"
by The Mogambo Guru
Caroline Baum at Bloomberg News writes, "President Bush and his Treasury secretary, Hank Paulson, are pumping out plans as quickly as aggrieved parties (homeowners, financial institutions, consumers, businesses) can ask for help, even as they tout the economy's fundamentals as 'strong'. In other [words], aside from a house of card[s] built on a mountain of debt, everything is fine." Exactly!
She is obviously referring to the, "economic stimulus bill"; a ludicrous bit of economic insanity where the government will be, literally, sending out money to people, to the tune of $168 billion. It has now been passed by Congress, and is on its way to President Bush for his (I assume) enthusiastic signature.
Where was Nancy Pelosi, one of the most idiotic Marxist losers in all of Congress? She was running around grinning like a demented baboon, embarrassing herself saying, "We are making history. What has passed the Congress in record time is a gift to the middle class and those who aspire to it in our country." Hahaha! A gift! Hahaha! This is too, too rich!
Then I thought about it some more, and I discovered that I can use this! Without a moment's hesitation, I immediately put this fabulous new "gift" philosophy into action: I wait until my wife goes into the kitchen for something, and for that split-second when her vision is obscured and her purse is unattended, I quickly run over and grab it, snag the wallet inside the purse, and hurriedly take all the money out, which looks to be about $67.
By this time, my wife has heard my footsteps racing across the floor and heard my little girlie giggle of excitement, and decides that this can't mean anything good. So she comes flying out of that kitchen, screaming, "Get out of my purse, you Thieving Mogambo Bastard (TMB)!"
This, then, is when I put this new Pelosi idea into action; with a big smile just like the one Ms. Pelosi had plastered all over her face, I say, "Hold it right there, Hateful Old Woman (HOW)!" Deftly, I take the two singles out of the little handful of cash I had just taken out of her purse, and flip them to her, saying, "Here's two bucks! I'm giving you a gift! How can you accuse me of stealing from you when I am actually just giving you a gift? Can't you see I am making history here? I'm giving you a gift of two bucks! So shut the hell up about people stealing money from you, you paranoid whackjob!"
Stunned, she just stands there, too flabbergasted at the sheer stupidity of it all. I quickly take advantage of the hesitation, and in a flash I am gone! Carefree and happy, out into the world with a big 65 bucks burning a hole in my pocket, and I'm looking for trouble, tacos, tequila and topless dancers, where we learn the sad lesson that inflation has gotten so bad that $65 bucks doesn't last very long anymore in that paradigm, even in the seamier gentlemen's clubs where they never throw me out, no matter how drunk or obnoxious I am, as long as I have some money left.
Alas, the money was soon gone, thanks to the higher prices, then (as usual) nobody liked me anymore and I had to go home, whereupon I also learned that if you are going out to party down in the hedonistic gutter with a measly $65 left over after you gave your wife a gift, use it all to buy intoxicating beverages, because you are going to want to be heavily, heavily anesthetized when you get back home.
But the lesson is the same; somebody is going to catch hell, and Nancy Pelosi has absolutely no idea what in the hell she is doing, because this $168 billion has to also be paid for with more government borrowing, which means the Fed must create more money and credit, which turns into more money when somebody borrows the money from the banks to buy these bonds, which further inflates the money supply, which causes more inflation in some consumer prices as this new money enters the auction in the marketplace of goods and services, and then inflation appears in other consumer prices, too, more and more and more until it has caused inflation in all prices, and then everybody is worse off than when they started; my wife is out 65 bucks, I am broke and in trouble, and the inflation in prices is making life more miserable for everybody.
Or, you could do as my neighbors do; listen for the Death Wail Of The Mogambo (DWOTM) reverberating, who howls into the night, "Ah-oooooooooooo!", conveying to man and beast alike that we are freaking doomed by inflation in prices, which history has shown to be similar to being a bit-player in a low-budget jungle B-movie who accidentally steps into quicksand at the beginning of the movie, not long after the credits have stopped rolling. You instinctively know, without being told or given any clues, and despite the best efforts of everybody else in the movie, that the poor bastard is going down and out.
That is probably why Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi never spends any time around here, as the haunting sound of my DWOTM is bad enough, but even worse is that DWOTM can be made to sound like "scrotum", which I intend to use with maximum effect and a can of spray paint if I can think of anything to rhyme with "Pelosi" that could simultaneously attain a "PG" rating and also convey my Utter Mogambo Revulsion (UMR) at the sheer hypocrisy of characterizing a $168 billion "economic stimulus" package, achieved by deficit-spending, as a freaking "gift" to anybody! Hahahaha! I mean, what can you do but laugh at the sheer, laughable stupidity?
And you want to hear the worse news? The poor, the disadvantaged, the crippled, the aged, the sick, the criminals, the unemployed, and the teeming outcasts and refuse of the world yearning to breathe free if only they could get a nitwit government to pay their way, all have one thing in common; they, along with every body else, will all pay higher prices for everything, and everyone will end up worse off than they are now! Hahahaha!
And it's also guaranteed that they will never get as much money next year as they need to offset the price hikes from this coming year, just as they did not get the money this year that they needed to offset the prices that were higher than they were last year, too! They are always, "Behind the curve"! Hahahaha!
This is how you die of gradual financial death by inflation, which is the plot of the latest movie from Mogambo Film Industries, which used to be call Mogambo Literary Industries, a niche publishing firm that specialized in that last little bit of free-lance pornography that literally nobody else would publish because it was so tasteless and disgusting.
But now we are coming out with a terrific adventure movie, where the plot has Ms. Pelosi leading a big safari into the jungle to deliver free goods and services to natives along the way, and one of the bearers of the treasure chests (in the script he is referred to as "Taxpayer Number One") steps into the deadly quicksand of deficit-spending a fiat currency via unlimited fractional reserve banking.
It is then that the movie turns into a farce, as Ms. Pelosi is crying out, "Quick! Give him some more money!" Hahahaha! Nice work, Ms. Pelosi! Groucho Marx would have been proud of us both!
