kids and blood issue

by 4mylove 9 Replies latest jw experiences

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  4mylove

  Hubby and i were arguing about something, and in my frusteration, I screamed that we couldn't even have a family like normal people. He was flabergasted and asked why, I explained that I pretty much had thrown that notion out the door because if it ever came to faith, I wouldn't want to raise them JW and he would. I explained that I could never deny my child treatment that would save his life due to the blood issue. This really sucks. just wanted to vent.

  I swear to every thing I hold dearly that if it weren't for this issue our marriage would be near perfect. It's loving, supportive, sweet, fun, spontaneous, and any other good adjective you can think off. I explained that I would rather keep him just the way we are, with him being inactive, than lose him. He said that it is something we can work through....this again hurts so much. thanks to all for listening...

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  Gopher

  It's good to have an outlet like this. I'm sorry to hear of this dilemma. But you're right, any potential kids would be raised JW or they wouldn't. There's no "in between" that can be worked out.

  Having been raised a JW, I'll say there are more issues than the blood/medical treatment one. My parents thankfully never had to face the blood issue regarding me or my sister. Some other issues include lack of proper social interaction due to viewing all non-JW peers as walking corpses about to be destroyed at Armageddon, hindrance from pursuing proper higher education, and the pervasive climate of fear instilled into JW's and children of JW's. There are others, but these are some things that messed with my head and my life in major ways.
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  cognac

  Wow, I'm really sorry 4mylove...

  I thought with the blood issue though, that if a parent refused a blood transfusion for a minor, then the minor would be handed over to the state and they would do the transfusion anyways???
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  cognac

  Of, course, I think this handing them over to the state so the could get a transfusion would only be temporary...
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  Gopher

  if a parent refused a blood transfusion for a minor, then the minor would be handed over to the state and they would do the transfusion anyways

  That's true. However it's more difficult when one parent is a JW and the other isn't. The JW parent (especially if a father) would have to at least put on the appearance of trying to "save" his child from a so-called "god-dishonoring" blood transfusion or else face possible congregation discipline. And the non-JW parent and JW parent would have this conflict and drama going on at the hospital while the child's condition worsened. The possible scenario is not pleasant.
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  cognac

  The JW parent (especially if a father) would have to at least put on the appearance of trying to "save" his child from a so-called "god-dishonoring" blood transfusion or else face possible congregation discipline.

  You need the consent of both parents???
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  TD

  The possible scenario is not pleasant.

  Yes. I've been in that exact situation. One thing I did learn from the experience is that it only takes the consent of one parent. Once the unbelieving spouse has authoriized the hospital to proceed with treatment, the religious objections of the JW parent don't amount to a hill of beans.
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  Gopher

  I don't know that you'd need the consent of both parents to get proper medical treatment.

  My point is because it can be a life-or-death issue, that the JW-ness of one parent would complicate things. The JW parent would be thinking of the "everlasting welfare" of the child and may be insistent on risking the child's life, whereas the non-JW parent would rightly (and probably with a great deal of emotion) insist on saving the child's life.

  The non-JW parent would win out (in the hospital or court), but there would be trauma and drama between the parents, due to the religion.
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  Hiddenwindow

  This is one of the key issues why I keep accumulating contempt for the cult in which I found myself when I was born. I have never been able to accepted since I thought deeply about the issue. As a child, or even as a young adult, I never realized that it is a really criminal doctrine. Now that I have children, I am extremely sensitive to the issue. I will never deny medical treatment (be it blood or any lifesaving procedure) to one of my children.

  H.W.
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  momzcrazy

  I had a friend growing up whose dad was not a JW, mom was. She was a teen at the time and her dad overruled them all and ordered her to have blood.

  The one time I had to face it, I did so halfheartedly, knowing with relief that the law or my husband would overrule me.

  momz