A large city-wide ecumenical service was in progress when someone smelled smoke and yelled "Fire!" Everyone responded in their own individual way...
The Church of Christ group pushed everybody into the water.
The Lutherans nailed a paper to the door declaring 95 ways in which fire was evil.
The Episcopalians formed a liturgical procession and marched out in an orderly manner behind an acolyte.
The Unitarians concluded the fire had as much right to be there as anyone and announced they would add its unique origins to their open celebration of life.
The Christian Scientists elected a reader who gently persuaded them that there really was no fire.
The 7th Day Adventists said it was the vengeance of an angry God.
The Jehovah's Witnesses wrote an article about it and divided into groups to visit all the other denominations and sell copies.
The Presbyterians commissioned a new anthem based on the atonal modalities of the sirens.
The Pentecostals sharply rebuked the fire in unknown tongues.
The Catholics petitioned the Bishop for permission to leave before they had been blessed.
The Christians (Disciples) asked their pastor to stay out of it and referred the fire to the next Board of Elders meeting for a response.
The Methodists gathered in a corner to pray that the traditional profession of firefighting could be peacefully blended with the contemporary nature of the flames.
And the Baptists attempted to appoint three committees and pass an offering plate -- but soon quit speaking to each other after disagreeing whether the word "fire" was a fundamental, moderate or liberal concept.