REUTERS
The Christian sect 'The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society'{WTS} has invited applications for the posts of 'Angel'. A spokesperson for the troubled sect said 'Angels have always helped God's people.' The problem seems to be that the incumbent Angels are not performing. 'They are just not doing the job. They are supposed to guide us and stuff and they seem more interested in zooming around the universe playing 'tag' ,I believe, than helping us here.' One of the recent difficulties to befall the Watchtower Group was its 10 year affiliation with United Nations. It seemed to be obvious to those who had left the organisation that this was wrong but the connection continued until it received press coverage. 'Exactly my point' said the Watchtower Official, 'If those darn Angels had been looking out for us we would have realised before some apostates did. We would have realised eventually but it was embarrassing.' The job involves assisting the WTS 'in all its ways'. That can be quite onerous as one Angel indicated. 'They blame us but we tried helping these guys ages ago but they just keep doing what they want. We are not getting involved .We all just play 'tag' now. If they want to sack us they can. I am not sure they will get any more Angels in to help them. Anyway God told me that he will get the rocks to cry out soon. These guys are that bad.' The Watchtower Official admitted to us that the membership of approximately 6 million are not aware of the present 'Angelic' crisis. 'We hope to get some new Angels in soon and we are hoping for a seamless transition.' In the meantime the WTS produced a comforting release in its official journal, The Watchtower. In its November 15 , 2001 article it said...
We laud Jehovah as the Universal Sovereign, 'dwell' in him as our Source of security, and declare the good news of his Kingdom.(Matthew 24:14) Therefore, 'no calamity will befall us'....Anointed Christians are like alien residents living in tents apart from this system of things.(1 Peter2:11) Whether our hope is heavenly or earthly, we are not infected by such spiritually deadly plagues as its immorality, materialism, false religion and worship of 'the wild beast', the United Nations.-Revelation 9:20,21; 13:1-18.....Angels have been given power to protect us. They guard us 'in all our ways.' We enjoy angelic guardianship as Kingdom proclaimers and do not stumble spiritually.
One insider who did not want to be named expressed his sceptiscm.'I can't believe they write that stuff...the 'anointed' I know do not live in TENTS, far from it! And....I know about the angels playing 'tag'. I don't think any decent Angel will apply and I guess we will just have to keep making stuff up. As far as not 'stumbling' is concerned I guess you can't when you are flat on your ass.'
This latest announcement comes close on the back of Jehovah postponing the 'New System' because of the UN-NGO matter. It appears the WTS are blaming lack of Angelic guidance but as we have seen there are two sides to the story and only time will tell.
ISP