it's just me, katie

by airwlk149 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • airwlk149
    airwlk149

    Hello all.
    i really do love to post here. i love getting responses more than anything. :)
    well, my mom pissed me off today. that's nothing new.
    i see jw's all over town lately. they know i no longer attend meetings and it's akward. they see me with my "worldly" friends, though i don't see my friends that way. like my girlfriend, she just is who she is. she's not bad to me. and my parents are training my little brother and sister to be that way, and that makes me sad.
    but the funny thing is, i think i will always have jehovah witness ways inside me forever. like, some things are still "bad" to me. and i can't sing "hapy birthday" to people. i still talk about the people and the meetings, even though i am no longer apart of their "organization". little things like that. it scares me. i don't want to be jehovahs witness! or act like them or think like them.
    but, whatever. i wish i could have been a cheerleader or played on sport teams or went to college like normal people. i have always been the "weird girl"
    thats me
    katie=
    nerd
    whatever.
    so you guys like my picture?
    it's cool having it on here
    also i am a junior member now instead of a newbie- can't wait to be a master member like naeblis or lilacs!
    love ya'll

    love ya bunches,
    Katie

  • DazedAndConfused
    DazedAndConfused

    What a beautiful girl you are! You are right, you will always have Jehovah's Witness ways in you. The trick is to find the positives....like being a good person,...etc. and letting go of the rest. It does happen in time. I tell people that I am not sorry for anything that has ever happened in my life, and there have been some terrible things, and they look at me like I sprouted a third eye on my forehead or something. I tell them that if each and every one of these things hadn't happened..........I wouldn't be who I am today. It's a matter of knowing what to keep and knowing what to throw away.

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    My Dearest Katie,

    It will not always be like it is now. Saying Happy Birthday is not that important.

    You have to look at it this way. You were born into the religion. Being outside is like being in a whole new world. It will take time to be like you say "Normal". Heck, it took me from 92 to 95 to even think like a jw. It was much easier going back to normal seeing I was born "Worldy" Give youself some time. Things will fall into place.

    If you want to go back to school. Check into fafsa.(Not sure if thats the correct spelling. Also look into pale grants. You can get money to go back to school. I want to go back myself but with my children in school and me being the only one supporting them and having to work three jobs, isn't easy. I don't know when, but I will go back one day. I want to be an RN. I always liked working in that field. My first job was as an CNA, so I know a bit about nursing from that.

    Just take your time and things will fall into place.

    BTW, nice pic, can't wait till I post the full view for all here to see. You hottie you.

    "I don't want someone in my life I can live with, I want someone in my life I can't live without."

  • toddy
    toddy

    Thats better i can see you now!very pretty

  • Cassiline
    Cassiline

    ((((((((((Katie)))))))))))
    You are the farthest thing from a nerd or a weird girl!!! I would NOT appear on the Jerry show with a nerd!!!! ;)

    Its so hard to get those teachings out of our head, this will pass and all will level out in time. After being out since 1990 I still get pangs of guilt but not anywhere as much as I used to. I am sure seeing your sisters being raised in the "truth" is disconcerting for you but remember they will have a time when they to can hopefully use their free will.

    Remember we are here for you. Not that we can replace your family but we consider you apart of this family.

    After seeing your picture I look forward to our next "Jerry Show"
    You are gorgeous!!!!!!!
    Love ya......... :):);)

    C

    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • Andee
    Andee

    Hi Katie,

    Listen, my parents became inactive when I was 10 and my JW experience has left an indelible mark on my life and my outlook. Thinking that all your friends are going to be toast at the age of 7 leaves an impression.

    Don't worry about the Happy Birthday thang. For me it was a breeze. See, I secretly always wanted to go to my school mate's birthday parties when I would get an invitation at school. I figured that had me doomed. So, if it takes years to get comfortable with birthdays , so be it! Anyway, I have decided that now I am through with birthdays! Yep! Done! I'm stopping right here at forty.

    Anyway, give yourself a break. Being raised a JW is like growing up on Mars, and now that you have arrived here on earth, let yourself have to time to adjust

    Andee

  • ISP
    ISP

    Katie....you look great!

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Welcom Katie,
    When I looked at you picture, I thought I was looking in a mirror! LOL
    As far as emotions go, hopefully your feeling bad about words will be replaced with feeling good about yourself in whatever situation. I grew up a jw and can still remember once in awhile in grade school saying the pledge of allegence just so I wouldn't feel so different than my friends. But I agree, some phrases are still hard to let go as something I would do or say now. Let us know how you progress as you try out different greetings. j2bf

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