New Letter From WTS re UN issue.....

ISP

Yes just as we expected the next move by the WTS in this Mother of All cock-ups......

WORLD HEADQUARTERS OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
25 Columbia Heights, Brooklyn, NY 11201-2483 • Tel. 718 560-5000
XXXX November 11, 2001 No. XXXXX
Via CompuServe
Branch Committee
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dear Brothers:
Because of published allegations by opposers that we have secret links with the United Nations, a number of branches have inquired about the matter and we have replied. However it has highlighted the need for an additional training in a number of areas.In order to assure the highest levels of ability from appointed men, it will be our policy to keep all such brothers well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our appointed men more S.H.I.T. than before.
If your local body considers it does not receive its fair share of S.H.I.T. , please see your local branch office. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our branch overseeers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Appointed men who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DISTRICT ELDER EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to ELDER ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our Branch overseers took S.H.I.T. before they were appointed, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a assisting others so their 'advancement may be manifest to all [persons]'. ( 1 Timothy 4:15)
Appointed men can be added to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can reach out for the new privilege of service DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
May Jehovah continue to bless our efforts and please be assured of our warm Christian love and best wishes.
Your brothers,
Brother IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

ISP

edward gentry

Im sure it will please you to know....
You got me.
I read the word "s.h.i.t" and actually thought for about 2 seconds then realized Id been had.

ISP

Hey Jarods...I am sure the WTS will say their Special High Intensity Training is indeed 'holy'...

Best

ISP

Jarods Out

All you people still attending
meetings,don't be afraid to Yell Out
"HOLY SHIT"when (New Light)is
revealed,and what a load it is. [8>]
Good one ISP LOL

Englishman

ISP,

Well you got me going, you rotten sod.

May the fleas of a thousand Liverpool supporters infest your nether regions.

Englishman

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

wannahelp

WT 1/15/2002

"Jehovah leads us to rightousness"

While carefully studying the scriptures, the Faithul and Discreet Slave found new instructional methods that will help in spreading our message. This message applies to all of Jehovah's servants. It is wonderful how Jehovah blesses us, taking care of feeding us the proper S.H.I.T at the proper time. All of Christendom is envious of our S.H.I.T but we know that Jehovah himself will destroy their churches, because they are not worthy of S.H.I.T.
(2) By examining the scriptures carefully, the Faithful Slave has uncovered another method of teaching, this a method that the congregation as a whole can participate in. The method, Cognitive Response to Apparent Persecution (C.R.A.P) is to be studied and applied immediatly, to protect our brothers and sisters from the evil influence of Satan the devil.
(3) All members of Jehovah's congregation will need to aquire CRAP literature immediatly. While we in Jehovah's organization DO NOT ASK for payment for our work, we would encourage all brothers and sisters to give any money as they see fit in our time of need, as we have to print new CRAP all the time.
(4) CRAP should be studied, memorized, and used on all occasions in dealing with worldings. No longer can we rely on 'theocratic warfare' to win our war with the world, we now must feed these implements of satan the CRAP they so rightly deserve. The elders of the congregation will be taking the lead in spreading this CRAP to you, and as with all CRAP, it flows downhill, so the responsibility of pioneers of all status is to spread the CRAP to the world at large.
(5) Isn't it wonderful that Jehovah has given us yet another sign that the great Tribulation is right around the corner. By allowing us to receive new light on SHIT and CRAP, we now further understand how close we are to the end times.

Questions:

1. Why will Christendom be envious of the true Christian?

2. What is the new tool that Jehovah has given us?

3. Does Jehovah's organization ask for donations? How does that differ from Christendom?

4. What older tool is being replaced by CRAP?

5. How can we be sure that we are living in the end times?

battman

butt does it stink?

New Letter From WTS re UN issue.....

Share this