Summer Classes for JW's

by oldseeker2 1 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • oldseeker2
    oldseeker2

    This is circulating among JW's as a joke but it is actually full of irony because it is so true! Though you might enjoy it.

    Summer Classes for Jehovah's Witnesses

    Registration must be completed by
    March 25, 2008

    NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes must be limited to 8 participants maximum


    Class 1
    What To Donate to the Driver Of The Service Group ---- How much gas can $1 really buy?

    --- Step by Step with Slide Presentation
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2
    The Kingdom Hall Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

    Round Table Discussion
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3 Is It Possible To Use The Bathroom in Only 5 Minutes by Using The Technique Of Not Talking?


    --- Group Practice
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between Brief Comments and Long Winded "Look-At-Me-I'm-Teaching-The-Congregation" Commentaries

    Examples on Video
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


    Class 6
    Learning How To Solve Problems --- Starting With Looking In Your Own Bible and Publications!
    (You DO have the same publications as the elders)

    Open Forum
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 7
    Life After Local Needs Parts --- Are the Elders really talking to you?

    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    Class 8
    Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between a Headache & Realizing It's Actually Your Conscience disturbing You

    Online Classes and role-playing
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    ....................................................................................................................
    Upon completion of any of the above courses,
    diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

    oldseeker2

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Maybe that would be too complicated. They should worry about what happens when a "gallon" of gas can range from 30 ounces to more than 500, according to whatever the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger says that morning. After all, they need to be kept dumb so they will readily accept the Second Dark Ages as the "new order".

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