I have posted here once before – my JW boyfriend and I (an evolutionist) love each other very much, but as you all can imagine we have many differences and difficult times. The latest major debate at the moment is that (and forgive me if this might offend anyone here) but by spending so much time in the ministry service (preaching religion) and referring to any world issue as ‘man doesn’t have the answer’ – is a very selfish and self-centred way of living one’s life. In the other hand I see many friends of mine renouncing their comfortable life’s in Europe to do humanitarian voluntary field work in places like Africa and for that according to this sick belief they are all ought to die in Armageddon for not doing ‘God’s’ will… Now – my argument above as you probably agree does not go down very well – although I have tried many other subtle ways without much luck. Now from those of you that have experienced perhaps a similar dilemma within yourselves, was there any specific thing that spurred this on you? Or any advice? Many thanks.
difficult dialog
by LindaLu 5 Replies latest social relationships
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AlmostAtheist
His whole world of information is filtered through different premises than the ones you hold. For him, Jehovah is almighty, all loving, and all knowing. The Bible is his inerrant word. And the Watchtower is the earthly expression of his will. So no matter what logic, reason, or facts you may bring to the table, if any of it contradicts his accepted premises, you'll get nowhere.
It seems that a person has to be "ready" to understand they are in a cult before they can leave. I put ready in quotes since I've yet to see anyone put forth a good theory on how to tell when a person is ready, or how to assist them into that state.
I will warn you that if your intent is to keep him, you don't want to let yourself get cast in the role of an "opposer". If you -- even subtley -- suggest that it's "Jehovah or me", he'll pick Jehovah.
Good luck!
Dave
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LindaLu
Hi Dave, Thank you for your response – I guess lately I have been very stressed with this and my patience is running quite short… In one side I have been trying for nearly a year to get my jw bf to think a little bit for himself – in the other hand he is receiving a massive pressure from his family / helders /etc for me to convert… The problem is that it seems that I am running out of time / questions / excuses…
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helenhall
hiya
i agree with AlmostAtheist. I dont think there is anything you can do. A person who doesnt want to see, just wont. No amount of reasoning will make a difference.
In my congregation, someone dating a non-witness would have been counselled and more than likely removed as a publisher.
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R.Crusoe
Keep routines that you can, excuse ones you feel you cant, but most of all start to find people who arent nd see if you can make friends and spend time with them - even tell them what you are trying to do and why its a long journey!
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AudeSapere
Hi LindaLu -
I remember you!
I don't really have much to add to your current thread but wonder if you read your prior post from last year.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/135144/1.ashx
I think much of the advise from then still applies. Your situation is tenuous at best.
-Aude.