JW technology is the best!!!

by ballistic 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    New software has been developed by the brothers at the London bethel which heralds a major advancement in computer controlled publishing. It has been described as the biggest step forward in the integration of artificial intelligence and real time content authorship ever to be achieved. The basis for the break through was the merger of two systems which have been in use at Jehovah’s Witnesses printing facilities for some time; the Multi-Lingual Photo-Type Setting System and the CD edition of the Watch Tower Library.
    Two huge CRAY computers running neural-net design artificial intelligence engines scan old copies of Watchtowers, Awakes and numerous other Witness literature and re-draft the information into an entirely new and palatable form complete with pictures and various other resources from a UN database. This information is then fed directly into the photo type setting system which translates the copy into multiple languages before down loading it straight onto the press. No human intervention is required from start to finish, eliminating the risk of human error.
    A Watchtower official said, “The fact that machines can do what we have employed a large number of people to do for years is a major break-through and can only serve to further our interests in the world-wide kingdom preaching work”.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Oh my goodness! Self-replicating Watchtower literature!!

    But how is new light blended in? Is there a special "fertilizer loading" interface?

    GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

  • willy_think
    willy_think

    wow! jehovahs got kick ass computers. i wonder what kind of port the holy spirit needs to jack in to that system.

    willy think: thread killer

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    How are they going to change history (like Proclaimer's book) when they copy staight off the old stuff. You know when they print the bound volumes at the end of the year, they are known to change facts there, too! j2bf

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    artificial intelligence is an amazing thing, it picks up previous contadictions and follows suit, adds new light when it feels like it, etc.

    Oh come on, you don't expect me to explain every detail do you???!!

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Do these computers have AOL email addresses? Because I think I have had communication with two of these robots already.

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

    I feel bad for these poor fools.
    http://hometown.aol.com/onjehovahside/ and [email protected]

  • nowaytess
    nowaytess

    I guess for the false prophet to look like a real Christians it must keep up with technology. Of course Satan will provide his own with the best.

    <A HREF= http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/christianexjehovahswitnesses </A>

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    The canadian bethel brothers, ingenious little beavers that they are, are drafting plans for a computerised door to door publisher. Rolling on three wheals, it can avoid abstacles, diferentiate people from inanimate objects, read or scan text and numbers. It has a refined gps system to keep it in its territory. All a stay at home jw needs do is load it w the grids for the territory to be covered, and off it trundles. Counting time will never be the same. The canadian branch is reportedly in heavy negociations w the head branch. If it gets the green light, or is that new light, it would revolutionise the kingdom preaching work overnight. Armagueddon would be greatly hastened, and the wt would make bundles leasing these robopublishers. I can just see the gleam coming back into jehovahs eyes.

    SS

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