When there is dead end in your life...

by justhuman 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  justhuman

  After being disfellowshiped from the WT, I was born in the "truth", I find it hard to start a new life. I was for 6 years innactive, and 2 years that I have been disfellowshiped.

  Unfortunately I didn't had any college degree and I have hardly finished high school. It was the mid 80's and there was a great anxiety at JW world at that time, the famous generation. So I quit school(I was in the last grade) and start pioneering.My first doubts started with the generation change and in 5 years I quit all my privelages in the cong. Then I realize that life is so hard. Having a family and kids it was really a daily straggle to get money for the family needs.

  All I could do it was working. Two and three jobs, and just trying to survive. There was never understanding from my JW wife. She was always complaining and asking for more. I was no doctor, or a business man, and I was doing my best to provide my family with the neccesary things of life, and sometimes even more. After I got disfellowshiped I had to leave the house and my 2 children with my ex-wife. Instead of having a place of peace, my house become a place of trouble and tense fighting. I didn't anymore wanted to be a JW. I hated their Organization and what stands for. I was sick of their theology and hypocrisy. I only wanted to be free from them. I found Jesus for my first time in my life and I was happy. But happiness couldn't last.

  Now I'm still trying to pay the depts, and really life has become so expensive, specially when you are uneducated person. I see my classmates, that they enjoy a good life, since most of them finished university. Most of the times I'm left days without money because of the cost of living, and due to the fact that I still support my children. Having no place to stay, always looking for a room to stay, it is really hard to keep on going, Sometimes I even think going back there, but then I again I will not be able to take it. I'm thinking off my children and the fact that they will grow JW's. If I had the money I wouldn't left them with my ex-wife. But I don't. So the idea the those pure souls they will be devoured by the WT monster really kills me.

  I tried to find a better jobs but didn't worked out. Specially when you don't have any college degree. I see my life run so fast, and I can't do anything to control it. It seems that the control was taken by the WT since I was born...
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  The Doc 58

  The worst dead end period of my life was spending the summer solstice in Anchorage, Alaska with Nathan Natas

  Seriously, though, I can understand your plight. I had a career and college education, etc, but when I became depressed after trying to adjust to life outside the organization and shunning, etc. I couldn't keep my job. I make a lot less money, but at least the stress is not as bad.

  Have you tried therapy or medication? That has helped me a lot.
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  compound complex

  Dear Justhuman,

  I'm sorry for the turmoil in which you find yourself. If it's any consolation, many of us here face the same problems with money and family. Yet I have acquaintances with fantastic incomes whose money problems are worse than my own. Like you, I have many jobs just to make ends meet. And the family woes you describe are familiar. You're correct about what has been taken from us by the WTB&TS.

  Most of us are starting over; however, you will find a way past that dead-end you mentioned. Dead-end means lacking opportunity for advancement. There must be some new opportunities out there. Can you can seek out a new situation where you live? Of course, it's hard to think positive when you're discouraged, but there are new possibilities awaiting all of us. I can feel for you because I've recently lost one-half of my income due to the local economy. New sources for self-improvement will come your way - be ready for them.

  I wish you the best, knowing that you will get help and encouragement from your friends on JWD.

  Sincerely,

  CoCo
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  WTWizard

  My dead end was largely because of the economy (which is rigged to make it difficult for people to break in, and to keep people out of being rich if at all possible). However, the Watchtower Society did make trouble by intruding on work time, and limiting the positions I could take. Most would involve getting some involvement with Christmas, and they had the specious arguments that I always had to be ready to sacrifice to the Higher Cause (in imitation to Jesus, who would have been insulted).

  Worse was stagnation in personal life because, every time I wanted to do anything fulfilling, the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger released a piece of littera-trash that banned it or cast it in a negative light, or Brother Hounder would stifle it so I could be saved for that damn Value Destroyer Training School and the plunge-the-whole-world-into-the-Second-Dark-Ages assignment to follow.
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  Quirky1

  Justhuman,

  There are still programs out there that will allow you to complete your education and possibly learn a better trade or possibly a higher education. Many of these programs are funded by Federal, State and local governments as well as Non-Profit Organizations that want to see one proper or get ahead further than your current situation. I encourage you to research all your resources. I know of several here locally and know of many who have benefited from such.

  You may even want to condider the thought of becoming a truck driver. Some of these are funded by the employer themselves. They will pay for your schooling and provide you with a bonus. Granted, it is not the most illustrious life but you will be able to make a good living that also has good benefits.

  Hang in there.

  Quirky1
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  nomoreguilt

  Although my lot in life is not as desperate as yours, ar from it, fortunately, I will relate my expierence with the borg. I recieved an honrable discharge from the US Air Force in 1975. I got out as a CONSCIENCIOUS OBJECTOR for the dubs. I had been reaised a jw and in 1968 enlisted in the USAF. I was 18, Vietnam was hot and I wasn't going to jail for the jw's, I wasn't baptised, or get kiiled in war.

  After 7 years in the USAF, I was on my way to a career in it, my ex wife convinced me to be a jw. After all, 1975 WAS the YEAR!!! Scared the shit out of me, the big " A" and all. So, I got out of the USAF. I had a baby, and no real job, just cleaning jobs, dub career. I worked hard just to make nothing, just food barely and rent. I then started in another dub career that has proven fruitful for me for 32 years now. That will remain private for the time being.

  HOWEVER! Beacause the wts frowned on college, I never utilized my G I benefits of going to college. The US Govt pays tuition costs for veterans here. I eventually lost ut on college, thanks to the WTBTS!!!!! Now, at 58, I am limited to the income from the career that I have been in now. It will have to suffice until I retire.

  Just another example of following the Unfaithful Lying indiscreet slave.

  NMG
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  compound complex

  Greetings, Justhuman:

  I hope that you're feeling better today.

  A friend,

  CoCo