THE PERFECT ELDER Results of a computerized survey indicate that THE PERFECT ELDER preaches exactly 100 hours per month. He conducts 5 Bible studies. He condemns sin, but he never upsets anyone. He works from 5:00 am until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $100.00 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a fine 4 door car, and gives $50.00 a week to the poor. Personal study takes up about 25 hours a month. He is 38 years old and has been preaching for 30 years. He is wonderfully gentle and handsome. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with older brothers and sisters. He works on paperwork 20 hours a week. He serves as Presiding Overseer, Book Study Conductor and assists in literature, accounts and territory. THE PERFECT ELDER smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls a month on families, (shepherding, of course), shut ins and the hospitalized. He spends one week a month on quick build kingdom halls. THE PERFECT ELDER spends all his time evangelizing and is always available when needed. THAT’S THE PERFECT ELDER! If your elder does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other congregations that are tired of theirs too. Then bundle up your elder and send him to the congregation at the top of the list. In one week’s time you will receive 1,643 elders and one of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One congregation broke the chain and got its’ old elder back in less than 3 months! What Freaks SICK!
It Make ME Hurl Sick!
by seektruth101 7 Replies latest jw friends
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nomoreguilt
seektruth101......WELCOME TO JWD !!!!
A sense of humour goes a long way with us friend! I see by your introductory post that you have put alot of time and thought into this.
Carry on, we would like to know more about YOU!!!
nomoreguilt aka NMG
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asilentone
chain letter?
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seektruth101
Ive been suck in the jw world in year of 1972 by my parents, always a Question sent 1982 was a good jw kid went to meetings alux as much as possible. Thank you for truth! I mean the Truth form the Internet. That just confirmed my thoughts of the cult. Still going kind of... trying to bring a few up to speed on how the Org is up too! Sorry, Dont want to give myself away. Because I love the Bro that love Jehovah Our God, my poor Brother!
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seektruth101
That was a email sent to me. What a Cult!
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jaguarbass
Good for you, everyone stops believing the JW. Bull at some time.
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betterdaze
Welcome, seektruth101!
"Gives about $50 weekly to the poor" was a dead giveaway...
Google reveals that this is plagiarized from "Christendom," with a few minor details tweaked,
such as the title Elder exchanged for Pastor.
~Sue -
WTWizard
The perfect apostate:
Posts 525 posts on this forum per week, every single one of them stimulating independent thought. Encourages people to look at different forums (in fact, this person is an active member on 3 other forums). Has his own web site, and does all he can to expose inconsistencies both within the Bible and in the misapplication that the witlesses are guilty of (or a she--the women can be just as good as apostates).
This person also has a college degree, as well as a job that requires creating value. The person is independent, and does excellent work. They make more than $1 million per year, and make donations to other apostate web sites as desired. This person also helps organize effective apostate drives, helping to get the embarrassment onto mainstream news sources. Has an article in Time magazine about how the cult is preparing to plunge the whole human race into the Second Dark Ages, and includes liberal references to pedophiles and all the ruined life this cult has caused.