toilet humor

peaceloveharmony

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes
the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says,
"Touchdown,
tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm
ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie
score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Fieldgoal, I lead
17 to 14."
Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he
strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally
unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops
the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, switch sides."

Angharad

LOL harmony - gross

AMarie

I have a good one to add:

THE CIA INTERVIEW

The CIA were holding interviews for the post of assassin.
They were looking for someone who was utterly ruthless and had narrowed the field down to
three candidates-two men and a woman.
The first applicant was handed a gun and told:
>>

"In that room your wife is sitting in a chair.
You must go in and shoot her."
The man said:"I'm sorry, I just can't do that, not to my own wife."
He knew he had blown his chance of getting the job.

>>
The second applicant was also handed a gun and told:

"In that room your wife is sitting in a chair.
You must go in and shoot her in cold blood."
The man looked horrified."No way.
I'm not gunning down my wife." And with that he walked out.

>>
Finally it was the turn of the woman candidate.
She too was handed a gun and
told:"In that room your husband is sitting in a chair.
You must go in and shoot him."

Without protest, the woman opened the door and went into the room.
From outside, CIA officials heard gunfire,followed by screams and a lot of banging.
Eventually the woman reappeared."You guys did't tell me the gun was loaded
with blanks",she complained.

"I had to beat him to death with the chair!".

BoozeRunner

MONY!!! Gross...LOL, but funny as hell!!

And now, a poem-

Sitting here reading this shithouse art
I suddenly let loose a tremendous fart.
It shook the air and shattered the walls
And burned all the hair off my f*ckin balls.