I Want to Write a Letter

by Hope4Others 9 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  Hope4Others

  The past weeks I have felt this overwhelming need to write my sister, Her family has gone through an ordeal of pedophile issues over there daughter. The culprit

  was an elders son and it was covered up well by the whole body. This deviant had gone from congregation to congregation and his father (elder) was aware of this.

  Long story short to start here, after numerous correspondence with the society, letters, calls, police investigation, all but two elders were removed from their

  congregation of 7.

  They pulled away from the local congregation, can you blame them it was very tragic. But I feel that I did not support her enough about what they went

  through, it is only from being here on this board has it truly knifed me in the heart toward what devastating emotional hurt and trauma many of you have been through.

  So I would like to send with my heartfelt letter to my dear sister, info regarding the law suit payouts, cover ups , striking articles to tell her I am sorry, and I

  have since learned these things about the Wt and now have a better understanding of what you really needed from me.

  If there are points that helped you that I may incorporated these into my letter I would gladly appreciate your thoughts. Of course I will need to be somewhat

  careful of how I word things as they will be in print.

  Cheers!

  Thanks All

  hope4others
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  Awakened at Gilead

  Perhaps direct her to the silent lambs website...

  A@G
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  WTWizard

  Make that two letters. The second should be a disassociation letter.
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  Big Tex

  Write from your heart. That usually works just fine.

  I left in 1989 over the two witness child abuse rule. If I could go back and talk to myself back then I would tel myself to trust your gut more. I would tell that guy to forgive himself, as he did nothing wrong. I would tell him he needs to like himself, before he can love and finally I would tell him he must help himself before he can expect anyone else to.

  Abuse victims have excellent survival skills and, usually, have a very good intuitive nature (part of survival often was being aware when bad times were coming).

  Chris
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  Carlos_Helms

  I'd do what you feel the need to do, H4O. If it ameliorates the effects or prevents it from happening again, it's a good thing.
  
  Another overriding issue is, how do we get this to stop? This "abuser" didn't just decide one day to start abusing children. If the stats prove true, he was likely himself abused. Child abuse is a real bugaboo for the watchtower, inc., as it is for the Catholic Church and many other institutions where trust is implied. Keeping things tied up in courtrooms, negotiating settlements, and dancing around the issue has the effect of avoiding or "putting off" more thorough and (no doubt) revealing investigations. The "truth behind the truth" of child abuse has implications so far-reaching that they are very difficult to contemplate.
  
  I don't say these things in order to excuse them. My traditional stance has been to shoot convicted abusers on site; but that only addresses the issue in one short-term way: deterrence. Jesus stated that it is our desire that gets us into long-term, spiritual trouble (lusting after=adultery, hatred=murder, etc) not just the act itself. I agree that removing victims from the equation is superior; but it still doesn't solve the spiritual problem of saving souls. This is an area that OUGHT to be religion's "job," but they are loathe to deal with it. For one, it would most likely open many multi-generational cans of worms...for another, it would expose religion's REAL reasons for its tolerance of pedophilia. If I had to speculate based upon observation, I'd say that there is an awfully good chance that "men of the cloth" (so to speak) may have a much higher than average incidence of having been sexually-abused in childhood...and subsequently choose religious leadership as a coping mechanism to help repress their own abnormal desires. As you may or may not know, Bethel is not immune from perversion and has - from amongst its many recorded aberrant sexual experiences - what I like to call the "Greenlees Effect."
  
  It is a well-known fact that many (if not most) Catholic priests who abuse adolescent boys were themselves abused at about the same age as their victim(s). At the time of their own "trauma," they became emotionally-stunted, retarded...stuck in adolescent emotional and sexual maturity. Could the same be said for watchtower, inc. abusers...or abusers of any kind? I understand the hesitancy to get involved at a depth that would likely break the corporation to pieces; but digging beneath the surface - even to the core - has always been THE prerequisite to healing. As long as religion doesn't want to concern itself with in-depth real-life issues (preferring instead to remain superficial), it will remain a 'whitewashed tomb full of dead men's bones' - literally, hell-on-earth.
  
  Carlos
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  jgnat

  Keep it short, no more than a page, with an invitation to visit to talk about it at length. Long, drawn-out letters are off-putting and often discarded.

  You can write the whole thing down for yourself, just to unburden and to clarify how you feel. But keep it for yourself. And when she comes calling.
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  StAnn

  H4O, my youngest brother approached me many years after this kind of thing happened to me. I'm sure he said a lot of things but what I remember most was him telling me that he was very ashamed of himself for not being supportive of me when I needed him. Knowing that he'd thought about it later and realized he was wrong and was willing to admit he was wrong has meant a lot to me. So, saying "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me" might go a long way. It did with me.

  Bless your heart for wanting to make amends over this. There's no statute of limitations on apologies.
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  flipper

  HOPE 4 OTHERS- I would recommend going to the child sexual abuse and child assault topics and grab up threads and ideas from the last year that have come up- to formulate a good solid case to explain to your sister she is not alone in being treated unjustly. For instance - the recent Gilbert Simental conviction is tremendous on the thread which dealt with the elders testimony , their playing dumb, denial and such . If you'd like you could quote points I had on my thread dealing with my call to the legal department at Bethel talking to a representative. So those are a couple ideas. Just be real- but respectful and tactful. Just let her feel your love and caring and she will know ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  misguided

  When I hear threads like this...it angers me greatly.

  Not only was I a victim of an elder pedophile...I married into a family of an elder pedophile.

  My elder jw ex father-in-law, I later found out, had a baby with his pioneer daugher...they had a girl, my children's now aunt/cousin. I still can't wrap my head around all this....
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  Hope4Others

  Dear Misguided,

  When I hear threads like this...it angers me greatly.

  I am very sorry for what you have been through, I only want to tell my sister how sorry I am for not being their like I could have. It is only since hearing the stories of

  so many others here on jwd do I really see the impact of the WT society has on so many victims of cover ups.

  The devastation, turmoil, hurt and anger this brings would be too much to bare for anyone. My heart goes out to all such victims. I carry my own scars from

  youth but doubt if I shall ever bring them up from the dungeons of hell. I hope that you can find peace.

  Sincerely,

  hope4others