Just a few things I saw, I get so much stuff emailed to me, hope these are sorta new.
Mother's Dictionary of Meanings!
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care for desert.
Full Name: What you call your child when you are mad at them.
Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
Sterilize: What you do to your baby's first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing superman jammies.
Things Mom Would never Say!
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on....it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt--Yeah, its good for another week"
"Well if Johns mom says its OK, that's good enough for me"
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here"
"I don't have a tissue with me....just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket- the wind-chill is bound to improve"
Cheers!
hope4others