I had the weirdest dream last night…
It started with me taking a taxi ride in some city I had never been in before and I kept seeing these billboards which were all black and white and saying: DON’T GO THERE! I asked the taxi driver what that was all about and he told me that this was the Watchtower Society telling everyone not to go to the APOSTATE ROCKS CAFÉ.
Anyway, I told him to immediately take me there and I just can’t believe all the people surrounding this place. There are like thousands and thousands of people wanting to get inside. I work my way up to the front of the line and I find this café is surrounded by a huge moat. In the moat, there is no other than Joelbear swimming around and he is the bouncer! Joelbear either makes you give him a hug or show your “I Want Blood Card” and I did both, and asked how I was supposed to get across the moat and he said that everyone had to walk across this plank to get inside (remember now this is a dream and it doesn’t have to be logical). So, I’m walking across the plank and then there is this huge white cat that jumps on the other end by the café, and starts hissing at me! I figure this has got to be Fred Hall, so I just stroke him a bit and he let’s me pass.
I then go to open the door but it opens from the inside and there is the guy wearing an eye patch in an army uniform (I think this was You Know in disguise) that invites me in and shows me around. Once I’m inside, the first thing I see is Logical sitting in a rocking chair staring out the front window, and then after that…a huge number of tables with people sitting at them working their computers and logging online. Little blue Smurfs are running around everywhere bring free coffee to all the posters and everyone is furiously typing so they can get up to the Master Member level. Because once you reach that level, then a big sign say’s that you get to go to the other parts of the Café. Then I asked YK what these other parts were and he tells me that all depends upon what I think “other” is and that I can either listen to the experts and make predictions this way or just go find out for myself.
Considering this, I just decide to walk back to the big wall that has lots of doors on it. On one door, there is a label that says “EYE CANDY” and when I take a peak through the keyhole, I see Bboyneko, Billygoat, Mommy, and all the other beautiful people inside this room on a big dance floor and they are doing distinctly untheocratic bumping and grinding to music.
Moving down to the next door, I hear lots of laughter coming out and the smell of copious amounts of beer fills the air. This door is marked THE PUB and when I look through the keyhole the room is full of smoke but I think I hear Englishman and a bunch of Aussies and other Brits just whooping it up and having a great time in there.
I decide to check out one more door as it is marked DESIRES OF THE FLESH but the keyhole is plugged and I keep hearing loud moans and ooo’s and ahhh’s coming from in there. I’m pretty sure that JanH, Andee, Megadude, Cowboy and Xena are all in there but the damn door is locked.
On my way over to the bar, I find MommyDark and ask her what the best room in the whole café is. She tells me that way over in the corner, there is a little doggy door that only Jedi and Emperor class members can squeeze through. She told me that Simon, Kent and a few others were in there. I asked her what they did in there, she replied that nobody was really sure but there was speculation that they found a way to get even with the Borg as there were long rounds of laughter coming from that room along with many “Got ya’s!”
About this time I woke up and realized I’ve been hanging out too much at this place! But had I continued the story, I’m sure I would have found all you wonderful and crazy characters in there.
Skipper
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings." - William Shakespeare