On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100! Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport last week. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 447, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, please sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"
Silence.
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and it spilled in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach piped up, "That's nothing. You should see the back of my pants!"
Keep warm....
waiting
ps: Dear, never forget one little point. It's my business. You just work here. Elizabeth Arden
Edited by - waiting on 9 December 2000 15:12:9