A little story about my Dad

by Princess Daisy Boo 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    I dont think I have ever mentioned this story - mostly because it is quite a painful memory but A@G's post about his recent DA'ing and how upset his wife is made me recall this dreadful period in my growing up years.

    I was about 17 or 18... I think I was out of school by then but to tell the truth - I cant recall. My Dad started going through this really strange phase - maybe it was a midlife crisis - he was in his late 40's or early 50's. I woke up one Sunday morning and overheard a conversation between him and my mom. It was about him leaving and my mom could have everything, him having to talk to the elders, stuff like that. I got up - asked what was going on. He informed my sister and I that he had had an affair and was going to confess all. I grabbed a bag and walked out. I walked to some friends and spent most of the day and next night hiding out there. My mom eventually begged me to come home for the sake of my little sister.

    My Dad was subsequently DF'd and what followed was a horrible dark period in my family's history. My sister was seriously unbalanced and I made her sleep in my bedroom because I thought she may try to off herself. She was also showing signs of becoming a bulimic. My mom would not let us talk about the situation to anyone. She would not talk aboout the situation to anyone - not even her own "fleshly" sisters. She also refused to let my Dad leave. She said under no circumstances would she start her life over again.

    Things got a little worse. My dad did not stop the affair immediately - I heard him on the phone to this girl. I snooped around - found out that my Dad was arrested for indecent conduct (I never ever found out what that was about - not sure whether I want to know?), found out that he was on Prozac - I never realised he was depressed. My mom became seriously zealous - she had always been quite zealous but she went a bit OTT after this.

    After a while - my dad started going to meetings again and eventually was reinstated. I know at the time, I was really angry at him and could not fathom why my mom let him stay, When Dad was reinstated - it was like we were expected to pretend nothing had ever happened. And to this day we have never ever spoken about this again.

    My Dad and I had a conversation just before he was reinstated and he spoke to me quite frankly about his mistakes and some of the reasons for his actions.

    Its funny how all of our relationships were affected differently by this. My mom and I drifted apart some - I resented that she pretended nothing had happened. My sister became closer to my mom and her relationship with dad broke down completly. My mom became a serious zealot. My Dad and I became closer.

    Thanks for listening guys!

    PDB

  • Velvetann
    Velvetann

    Wow Princess Daisy that was a very upsetting time in your life and for your parents. Your Mom buried the whole thing and would not talk about it, that can't be healthy. Glad you are able to share this with us, and we get to know you better too.

    Velvet

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    like velvetann said.... buried emotions/feelings cannot be good for your mom

    untreated wounds may look healed superficially but there is is no real health, only a lurking latent infection waiting for an opportunity to erupt....

    your willingness to discuss and analyze the situation will prove the better course in the long run.... good on you for choosing to heal

  • flipper
    flipper

    PRINCESS DAISY BOO- I'm so sorry you went through that experience sis ! I'm glad you are mature enough to have seemed to analyze these sad events that occurred and make some kind of closure towards it. It is a challenging thing when one parent seems to want to compete for the adult childrens affections- and it seems your parents have pretty well caused a dividing line to occur with you and your sister having to choose which parent to back. That is unfortunate. I went through the same thing with my ex-wife. Divorced in 1998- and she still bad mouths me to my 21 and 20 year old daughters . My 23 year old son and I get along great though. I guess it just goes along with the territory of divorce. I hope you continue healing sis- hang in there

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    Thanks for the comments!

    Chickpea and Velvy : I guess this is what concerns me - this happened 13 years ago and to this day my mom has never spoken about it again, and I am fairly sure that her and my dad have never dicussed it again. I do not believe this can be healthy for her.

    I also worry about my sister - I worry about her ability to handle difficult situations... She maybe a settled down married woman living the perfect little dub life in Bethal but if something bad happens, I hope that she will be able to cope as we are certainly not close enough now to be of any support to each other. I really saw her come undone at that time in our lives and my mother refused to believe that there was anything wrong with her.

    Flipper: Thanks for your words! When you shared your story about what those horrible men did to you, I was a little more encourages to share this story - being able to type it out as I remember it is somewhat healing in itself! I do resent what my parents and largely my mom did to my sister and I - not for having a hiccup in their marriage, and for my dad having an affair, but for not allowing us to talk about it and get closure on it!

    I love you guys!!!

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Look at it this way, even though this was a sad experience it has helped make you the happy and caring person

    you are today. Its hard for young people to see the hardships and troubles that their parents go through and to carry guilt that

    has nothing to do with them. So often kids think things are their fault. I recall when my dad left I was 12,

    It was the most traumatic time that is ingrained in my memory. You

    probably won't believe what i did that day.

    Anyway I'm glad that you were able to talk about this.

    lol

    hope4others

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    Thank you for sharing Boo. It just goes to show, if you keep sweeping the dirts under the carpet one day you'll wake up with your nose against the ceiling. It's not healthy not to talk about it. I'm glad you could at least share it with us.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Hey PDB - thanks for sharing your story with us girl. Going through something like that is never easy, especially when it gets brushed under the carpet. The best thing would have been for your mum & dad to speak about it and sort the issues out back then.

    Sometimes the path we walk isn't the easiest at times, but walk it we must for whatever lessons we have to learn.

    Loves.

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    Thanks for your messages H4O, Mrs Smith and Lou!

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