If Brooklyn ran the courts, here is what you could expect
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WATCHTOWER REVISED CODE SECTION 2945.45
JEHOVAH GOD ss. PRECIPE
The Universe at large All Elders of the Planet Earth
You are hereby commanded to summon:
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By the Jurors of the Grand Governing Body of Brooklyn within the Body of the Planet aforesaid, on Their Oaths, ipso facto, IN THE NAME AND BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE hereby commands all bodies of elders on said planet to summon all known Apostates, on or about, henceforth, from this date forward of this offense, on the Planet of Earth, did have spiritual contact, To Wit: talk to an active Jehovah’s Witness, including, without limitation, the exposure of the crimes of the Watchtower Society, the details about failed prophecies, the use (without limitation) of scientific evidence to prove the Bible wrong, the shocking revelations of child abuse in congregations, the exposure of gross Watchtower hypocrisy, for the purpose of mentally stimulating either male or female Jehovah’s Witness, or is reckless as heretofore evident in display of enjoying their life outside the Collective and enjoying sensual pleasures which inspire disgust or revulsion in the Governing Body, such as smoking, drinking, having sex, making money, getting an education, having more sex along with making this known to Jehovah’s Witnesses with ordinary sensibilities, the cumulative effect of which is a tendency to appeal to prurient or acatalectical interest when the appeal to such interest is primarily for its own sake or, Ad Hoc, for encouraging independent thinking and personal awareness, rather than primarily for a genuine human weakness of those not guided by Holy Spirit, that regard violation of section 2907.05 of Watchtower Revised Code, To Wit, Gross Spiritual Imposition, a Felony of the Fourth Degree.
YOU ARE HEREBY ordered to appear, under the penalty of divine law, before the COURT OF COMMON ELDERS, held at all local congregations on the planet Earth, in the back room with the dull carpet, on this date forward, to appear on a daily basis, to testify all and singular such matters and things which you may know in a certain action in Elder Court depending, and then and there to be determined, between JEHOVAH GOD, and APOSTATE plaintiffs.
In lieu of the aforementioned sentence, DEFENDANTS, if found guilty, may, without undue duress, choose to perform Public Services of redeeming social value in the form of Internet Apostate Websites, describing in explicit detail how miserable their lives are since leaving the Organization, for no less than (3)three, not more than (24)twenty-four hours at an accredited Apostate site such as Jehovah-Witness.Com i.e., To Wit: Simon’s Board to weep and mash your teeth together as the Evil Slave Class.
WITNESS: I KUTCHURPECKEROFF
member of Governing Body in good standing
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings." - William Shakespeare