What could happen if a faded couple divorce, no one else is involved, then one gets married again a few years down the line? Do they automatically get DFed? even though neither of them have been to meetings for a few years. Is it treated as adultery or just an unscriptual marriage?
Not scriptually free to marry..................What happens??
by Summer wine 9 Replies latest jw friends
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llbh
Why would you worry if you are both out and free from the WTS?.
In my experience it all depends on your local elders as to whether you are left alone. Some will leave you alone, some wont.
Regards David
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Summer wine
I wish I was free from the WT, but that will only happen if my daughter and other family members are out.
I know of one person who was DFed but that was before he got married, I suppose they DFed him cos he was "fornicating" ( I really hate that word)
I also know of another man who was DFed and he had gone to live abroad and they still announced it at his local hall !!!!!!!!!!!
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llbh
Your daughter has chosen her life , and you must choose yours. If she loves you for what you are she will make not shun you.
Your life is precious to you too.
David
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Hope4Others
I think it would have to be brought to the elders attention, if your faded it just doesn't matter your free to do what you want. If you are still an attender then you need the proof
of infidelity to be free to re- marry.
h4o
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JK666
This is one of the weirdest rules/regulations of the JW religion. I have been on all sides of this in my past as a JW. I do not know how it would work with a fader, but I will give you my experiences to try to help you.
My first wife was a nympho, but just couldn't keep it at home. I forgave her for her first affair, and never got the elders involved (none of their f**king business). When I found out later about many more, I did go to them and got a "scriptural divorce." They in their infinite wisdom (or infinitesimal wisdom) tried to get me to stay with her. One elder said to me after I decided to divorce, that "Don't you know Jehovah hates a divorcing?!" I told him that he hates F'ing around too!
My second wife was young when we married, and I didin't know that she just wanted to get out of her house with her parents. Big mistake! She was a perpetual teen throughout the relationship. After 3 years, she wanted to get her own apartment and have some fun. She hated the JW's and me, so she hid her lifestyle, and I was not able to be free for a number of years. Another brother worked with her at a bar, and he knew she was sleeping around. But the "Pay Attention" book said that a person has to spend the entire night at someone's house to be considered as proof. She left me with the dog, and left whatever guy's house before sunup to let it do it's thing. Therefore no grounds for divorce! What an arcane set of rules!
I will tell you about the last one later, this is too depressing. Good luck!
JK
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yknot
Depends on Elders mood
If the person is willing to grovel
If the person's new mate is willing to attend meetings.
My ex-stepfather (divorce on grounds of 20 years of abuse & neglect) was caught doing the nasty with local JW slut by an Elder-Wife pioneer team who stopped by to invite her out in FS that afternoon. It had been a little more then a year after the divorce and both were in full attendance. In fact the Elders had been encouraging him to 'mend' his ways and make good with my mom....so you would think automatic DF, right?
They were only reproved. Went to meetings long enough to be reinstated (9 months). Then of course his 'problems' surfaced and they both became inactive.
The next couple (wife left him, JW slut two territories over) in a similar situation the Elders threw the book at and were DFd for 3 years because they listed the Ex and slut as examples of why they thought they could get away with the relationship.
In your case the Elders might be sympathetic since you are the leftee not the leaver.....this said.....My mom contemplated the whole celibate for life thing when she filed for divorce yet within a year and half was free to marry.
My advice is to be patient and work on personal enrichment and sustainability. Much can happen in a very short period of time.
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WTWizard
Depending on how far into the fade they are, they would either be disfellowshipped or left alone until they tried to get reactivated and then disfellowshipped.
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LouBelle
If you have faded and no one really regards you as a witness they can't really do anything to you - but then again this is the witness faith we are talking about and they change their minds on a whim. You could threaten action against the elders....but that's another ball game.
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james_woods
I personally knew of a case where a witness wife divorced her husband (no grounds due to adultury on either side), and then later married a younger pioneer guy. The husband complained to the committee - but, the committee did not like him. The story was that the husband used to be from a locally wealthy family, but that when his grandmother (the major heir to the money) died, the Society sent Hayden Covington to "handle the estate", and of course the society got practically all the money. The poor guy ended up driving a truck for a living.
The committee hashed it out for a while - but they eventually took the wifes side (and the young pioneer) and let them get married with no penalty.
I guess it all depends on exactly who you are and who you know.