What are your favorite quotes about JW's?

by Mindchild 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mindchild

  Do you have any favorite quotes of either something the Watchtower said or quotes from outsiders about the Witnesses?

  Here are two of my own...

  "When I was a kid in the ghetto, a gang started going around harassing people, so some of the toughest kids formed a gang called The Sharks to stop them. The other gang was called The Jehovah's Witnesses."-Charles Kosar

  "Vaccination is a direct violation of the everlasting covenant that
  God made with Noah after the flood.... Vaccination never saved
  human life. It does not prevent smallpox." -The Golden Age, predecessor to Awake!, Feb. 4, 1931 (Jehovah's Witnesses)

  Cheers,

  Skipper

  "No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."- George Bush
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  Hmmm

  Some restaurant worker, at Convention time, commenting on how cheap JWs are:

  "They come to town with ten dollars and the Ten Commandments, and don't break either of them."

  Hmmm
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  SixofNine

  Doctrines that make no predictions are less compelling than those which make correct predictions; they are in turn more successful than doctrines that make false predictions.

  But not always. One prominent American religion confidently predicted that the world would end in 1914. Well, 1914 has come and gone, and — while the events of that year were certainly of some importance — the world does not, at least so far as I can see, seem to have ended. There are at least three responses that an organized religion can make in the face of such a failed and fundamental prophecy. They could have said, "Oh, did we say `1914'? So sorry, we meant `2014.' A slight error in calculation. Hope you weren't inconvenienced in any way." But they did not. They could have said, "Well, the world would have ended, except we prayed very hard and interceded with God so He spared the Earth." But they did not. Instead, they did something much more ingenious.

  They announced that the world had in fact ended in 1914, and if the rest of us hadn't noticed, that was our lookout. It is astonishing in the face of such transparent evasions that this religion has any adherents at all. But religions are tough. Either they make no contentions which are subject to disproof or they quickly redesign doctrine after disproof. The fact that religions can be so shamelessly dishonest, so contemptuous of the intelligence of their adherents, and still flourish does not speak very well for the tough-mindedness of the believers. But it does indicate, if a demonstration were needed, that near the core of the religious experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry.

  Carl Sagan
  italics and bolding mine
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  Mommie Dark

  True story: my girlfriend told me this last night. Two men in nice suits came to her door, and she thought 'Oh Gawd JWs NOT NOW' and apparently she looked really peeved because one of the guys put his hands up and said, "Wait a minute, we're NOT Jehovah's Witnesses... we're here from Domino's Pizza," and proceeded to offer her a charity coupon deal they were offering for the holiday.

  She laughed her ass off, and bought the coupon book. They said corporate made them dress real nice to do the charity thing but that they had got the same reaction pretty much wherever they went.

  Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, folks were much friendlier.

  Think JWs should start offering pizza coupons with the litterachure?
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  GinnyTosken

  This poem is best read during spring.

  Ginny

  The Last Day and the First
  THEODORE WEISS

  The stocky woman at the door,
  with her young daughter "Linda" looking
  down, as she pulls out several copies
  of The Watchtower from her canvas bag,
  In a heavy German accent asks me:
  "Have you ever thought that these
  may be the last days of the world?"

  And to my nodding "Yes, I have,"
  she and the delicate, blonde girl
  without a further word, turning tail,
  sheepishly walk away.
  And I feel
  for them, as for us all, this world
  in what may be its last days.
  And yet this day itself is full
  of unbelief, that or marvelously
  convincing ignorance.
  Its young light
  O so tentative, those first steps
  as of a beginning dance (snowdrops
  have already started up, and crocuses
  we heard about last night the teller's
  children quickly trampled in play)

  make it hard not to believe that we are
  teetering on creation's brink all over
  again. And I almost thrill with fear
  to think of what will soon be asked
  of us, of you and me:
  am I at least
  not a little old now (like the world)
  to be trembling on the edge
  of nakedness, a love, as Stendhal
  knew it, "as people love for the first
  time at nineteen and in Italy"?

  Ah well, until I have to crawl
  on hands and knees and then can crawl
  no more, so may it every Italian-
  returning season be, ever the last
  day of this world about to burst
  and ever for blossoming the first.
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  JWinSF

  Similar to Hmmm's posting above. I was taking a break at McDonalds down the street from the District Convention. I and a few other friends were advertising our support group for gay/lesbian current/ex JWs.

  It was during mid-morning so the place had pretty much emptied out of Dubz. When I got to the counter, the lady behind it said how she looked forward to the time when their meetings would be over [they go on for several successive weeks at the Cow Palace for the Northern California area]. She mentioned how rude many of them were.

  I just had to laugh inside. The Dubz are always "crowing" about how much they're appreciated in whatever town that they come to. Well, that's just more Corporate BS to keep the Dubz thinking that they are "the one true religion".