How Do Your Worldly "Relatives" Handle JWs at Family Reunions?

by jamiebowers 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  jamiebowers

  Recently I read a post that said exjws in a particular family could not attend family functions/reunions even with "worldly" relatives because of the jws in the family. I can't remember what thread it was on, but I didn't reply, because it was off topic of the thread, and I didn't want to be a highjacker.

  Last year I organized a family reunion on my jw mother's side. She was one of 11 children, and including her, there are three siblings who are jws. Of course, some of their children, grandchildren and in a few cases, great grandchildren are also jws, and some are not. Almost 100 people showed up, but none of the jws came. My "worldly" relatives seemed to be of the opinion that everyone should be allowed to attend and screw those who chose not to.

  So, my questions: How many of you are kept from family functions, (even with "worldly" ones attending), because you are da'd, df'd or marked? Why? What does your worldly family think?
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  carla

  Your worldly relatives would be the norm I think in the worldly world. In my case, my jw is the only jw anybody on either side knows. One side of the family that actually did their homework about jw's (due to my panic) read C of C, etc... as well as some book about jw's from the library put out by the society, never leave their children alone with him for a moment, including teens. If anyone sees him alone with a teen someone will say 'oh crap, john is out with joe, someone go out there'. He will and has attempted to preach to other peoples children. My jw is looking forward to a family reunion that is coming up, I suppose he intends to preach to long lost relatives and there I will be bringing up the rear with comments about it being a cult if that happens. The worldly relatives will think he is a nut case, as usual.
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  blondie

  I think it depends on whether the ex-jw was df'd or da'd themselves. I know some jws are "zealous" and shun inactive family members. I applaud the non-jws that don't let the jws blackmail them into practicing the jw religion. If the jws don't want to come, they can stay home.
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  White Dove

  Some grit their teeth and others tell them off. The JW's don't get very far in my family. It is split right down the middle along party lines: Non-JW and JW.
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  jamiebowers

  Thanks everyone for commenting. My family sounds par for the course, I guess. We're having another reunion this summer, and as far as I know all of the da'd, df'd inactive and marked will be there. I can hardly wait! I imagine most if not all of the dubs will be no shows again this year.
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  StAnn

  JB, my family is extremely dysfunctional. The JWs come and bring card games, board games, etc., and sit in the corner and play games with each other! They'll turn the backs to all of the "worldly" people and act like we're not there!

  My sister is having her 25th wedding anniversary party this weekend. Of course, I wasn't invited. My worldly aunt, never a JW, asked me what I was taking to the party. I said, what party? So, the JWs come to the parties that the worldly people throw and then ignore them, but generally won't invite non-JWs to their parties. And they won't throw parties, graduation or baby showers, etc., for family members who aren't JWs.

  I'm going to send my sister a card anyway, just so she knows that I know about her party.
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  Forscher

  No family reunions for my family, so no problem.

  My wife's family gets a little interesting. One side of her family held a reunion I attended many years ago. In that family only my wife's were Dubs. The rest were Baptists, and most of them were ministers. Just before my in laws, wife, and I arrived one of her brothers went. He had left the organization years before after being stumbled by a CO. Well, at a party some of them held, several of the ministers did the "have you given your life to Christ" routine. My brother-in-law told them were they could shove their religion! They very studiously avoided the subject of religion with the rest of us when we arrived.

  Forscher
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  jamiebowers

  The JWs come and bring card games, board games, etc., and sit in the corner and play games with each other! They'll turn the backs to all of the "worldly" people and act like we're not there! My sister is having her 25th wedding anniversary party this weekend. Of course, I wasn't invited. I'm going to send my sister a card anyway, just so she knows that I know about her party.

  I hear about my mom through either inactive jw or "worldly" relatives. According to my hardcore jw mother, jws can attend family functions even if they know da'd and df'd ones will be there, if the function is held in a public place. Well, she still chose not to come to the family reunion, although it was held in a public hall. I imagine she didn't come, because she also heard that I confirmed to an inactive jw relative some particularly nasty things about my childhood. Unfortunately, my mom's jw siblings kind of follow her lead, because she has turned at least one of them in to the elders for so-called misbehavior. My mother's jw sister held a wake at her house for a "fleshly" brother who wasn't a jw and allowed her df'd kids to attend, and she got in BIG TROUBLE for that. St. Ann, when you send your sister a card for her 25th anniversary, make sure you mention that you knew about the party, because just sending a card may only make her think that you remembered her anniversary.

  God, I hate this cult! It causes so many hurt feelings!
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  mrsjones5

  In my family everybody comes, jws and nonjws. If someone doesn't come it's not usually because of the jws that are going to be there or not, it's usually because of whatever conflict is going (mostoften about nonjw issues). At the last family reunion we had in October, jws and nonjws were there. The jws got a little loud but the rest of us just ignored them. I think it's safe to say that all had a good time. Hopefully we will do it again soon.

  Josie
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  Princess Daisy Boo

  My JW family attend all reunions with the non JW part of the family... no issue there. Mostly I would say that the non dubs just roll their eyes in irritation when one of the dubs starts getting a bit preachy... that one dub is usually my mom, who is a pain in the ass and finds any opportunity she can to give an incidental witness or whatever it is called nowadays!