Just thinking here, reading some comments, and realizing how attitude changes with age.
When I was a teenager,
being able to have some menial job (such as walking around with a “please take your seat” sign) at the convention was an awesome privilege.
Being able to cut the grass at the hall, wash the windows, etc, etc, was so great!
Twenty rolled around,,,
And I got married, had kids, worked a FT job, bought a house, made sure raising my kids the "right way" was a major priority,
made all the meetings, had responsibilities such as caring for the magazines, parts on the service meeting, handled the microphones, held a book study at our home and went out in fs every weekend.
Thirty comes up,,,,
Still have some major responsibilities at the hall,
(Have not been considered to become a MS at all.)
Kids are getting older and starting togive us the usual hassles about going to the meetings all the time.
So I get them involved with the responsibilities I have.
They help set up the microphones at the TS before the meeting, count the magazines when they arrive in the mail for me, and help get the house in shape for the study and service on Saturday.
Whew! During this time I make a real effort to become a MS, always, ALWAYS I’m told that I’m not doing enough! And yet, brothers who make half the effort (honestly, believe me here when I say the term half-effort) are getting appointed left and right.
I begin to realize and see the good old boys club is a real live thing at the hall.
40 arrives,
At least 90% of my so called “ outstanding / upright theocratic associates” have been either DF’ed. divorced, or just disappeared within the last several years .
Suddenly I begin to take stock of where I am and begin to wonder just what the hell I have been doing with my life in this unstable religion.
S-l-o-w-l-y, s-l-o-w-l-y, I began to realize that the watchtower society is not the absolutely wonderful organization that I grew up believing it was.
At this time I begin my fade, and guess what?
The elders all of a sudden are over me like flies on a fresh pile asking why I’m not doing “all that I should be doing”
Why not come back to the meetings, reach out once again, and make theocratic goals the forefront of your life?
(I realize that biting my tongue at times like this can be either a blessing, or a curse.)
Sorry, I don’t feel like beating my head against a brick wall any more because you guys all of a sudden realized that I’m not going to follow your every whim and desire any more
So what is it?
At middle age do most people really begin to question what their life really is?
I could never go back to being a witness, too much hypocrisy, and unrealistic expectations in this religion. I’m examining, and studying religions of the world for my Own enjoyment and knowledge, it is really refreshing to study this subject without worrying about what someone might think, or say about it.
And that is a very refreshing feeling !!!
middle age revelation
by lancelink 5 Replies latest jw friends
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lancelink
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journey-on
middle age do most people really begin to question what their life really is?
Yes. In more ways than one. I'm a female, so I cannot imagine what it was like to strive for privileges and recognition and constantly
be overlooked. At some point, you have to stop hitting your head against the brick wall of the congregation, and look up and see that
life is a river and it flows fast. Don't waste it trying to please some man-made organization that only looks at how many hours you
put in the field sevice last month, or how many return visits you made, or how many magazines you placed, or how many bible studies
you conducted. Life is about living and absorbing the beauty and glorious creation all around us and embracing our families and giving
our children something that is part of us to hold close and cherish while they grow older and begin their families. It's not about serving
an organization of men. Time passes so quickly. In the blink of an eye, your children are grown. What did you do with the time that
was given to you to share with them? Middle age is no time to be wasting:
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White Dove
Yes, at this age we do tend to look at ourselves and wonder if we are doing the right things to make our lives what we want them to be. Those that don't do this might suffer from inertia. Their lives go forward like a train, unable to change course or to stop. They don't even want to stop. The train of life just goes right on by them until they're dead, having never fulfilled a fantacy or dream, having never accomplished anything more than trying to satisfy the demands of a few men in order to please God. They are the walking dead. The last thing they say before fading out of this life is "I'll see you in paradise."
Can you imagine having this life right now and not living it? I can't.
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jaguarbass
It sounds like you have done a lot not to be a ministerial servant.
I got pissed off because they didnt make me an elder at 21 and they made my brother in law an elder at 21. I thought that was a good old boys club.
And it got me questioning gods involvement and direction.
I started realizing prayer and talking to Jehovah was not as powerful as having the right friends and playing basketball with the right elders. I never liked basketball.
But I turned 21 at the end of 73 and their was no armegedon in 75. And that was it for me.
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Undecided
I didn't have the problem of not being appointed as a servant, I was overwhelmed with appointments and became the leading PO, that's why I left as I reached 37 in '73. It was just too much work and used all my time. I felt if Armageddon came in 1975 I didn't care, at least I would have a year or two of peace with my life. I still felt like it was the TRUTH but didn't care. I gradually lost that feeling and finally became free from the cult. I now feel there is no TRUTH in religion, it's just a way to deal with the realization of death for some people. I don't think anyone knows what reality is.
Ken P.
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StAnn
What middle age has done for me: I'm no longer subject to peer pressure. I don't care what the other "sisters" are wearing anymore. I wear what is comfortable and what I like. I don't "strive" after privileges. I do what I have time for and don't overload so that I can enjoy the things I do volunteer for.
I'm comfortable with who I am, I like who I am, and I'm making the life that suits me best.
I couldn't have done that when I was younger and I wouldn't be able to do it today if I were a JW.
I see my elderly mother and you wouldn't believe the crazy peer pressure things she's trying to keep up with at the KH. And she's in her 70's! For instance, one old woman had problems with her knees and started bringing a little footstool. Now ALL of the old ladies bring footstools and, of course, an enterprising "brother" is taking orders for them and making them to spec. They're getting more and more elaborate as they compete with each other. It's hilarious. Hopefully, with middle age comes self-confidence and maturity and a clearer mind than when you were young. (But not for my mom!)
StAnn