Isaiah redux

by Nathan Natas 4 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Like the Watchtower's New World Translation Committee, I am ignorant of foreign ancient languages.

    Also like them, I have a pretty good feeling that I know what the original authors MEANT to convey in various passages.

    Accordingly, I am producing the "Natas World Translation of the Holy Bible," which should be finished well before the end of this twentieth century. It's a piecemeal process that will proceed in fits and starts when I feel like it.

    Here is a portion of Isaiah chapter 44:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    There is one whose business is to cut down cedars; and he takes a certain species of tree, even a massive tree, and he lets it become strong for himself among the trees of the forest. He planted the laurel tree, and the pouring rain itself keeps making it get big.

    And it has become [something] for man to keep a fire burning. So he takes part of it that he may warm himself. In fact he builds a fire and actually bakes bread. He grinds part of it into pulp and makes paper. He uses the paper to print all kinds of foolish religious speculation, and he prostrates himself to his publishing company.

    Half of it he actually burns up in a fire. Upon half of it he roasts well the flesh that he eats, and he becomes satisfied. He also warms himself and says: “Aha! I have warmed myself. I have seen the firelight.”

    But the remainder of it he actually makes into a Watchtower magazine, after his own imaginings. He prostrates himself to the publishing company and bows down and prays to it and says: “Aha! I have seen the New Light™.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Whadya think?

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Can we expect it to be finished by the end of the 21st century? Kinda cute. Hehe.

    S

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I was thinking that you could release them in handbill format. For instance this release could be padded out to a nice bill w a few fancy capital letters at the paragraph beginnings, and some old fashioned biblical illumination in the empty spots.

    S

  • belbab
    belbab

    Natas,

    You forgot to mention that he also roasts apostates with the fire.

    belbab

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Nathan,

    lol....very droll.

    I always though a Cockney Bible would make good reading.

    "Allwhite Mary me beauty? Listen 'ere..yer gonna have me kid, an its going to be by a miracle loike".

    HS

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