George Dean - yeah its long. its worth the read though. promise

by coolhandluke 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    I know you don't know the name. I'm going to tell you about him. I was 13 when we met. He was 72. Relaying the story later to friends he said about me that many people had knocked on his door but there was something about me that made him listen. I came to love this man. I called him my son. He called me dad. We began a friendship that started off as teacher and student but in the end we were family. Eventually he was baptized. He was made a ministerial servant while I was still studying with him. I was still under the age of 18. They called him my letter of recommendation, the proof that I was a good teacher. George grew up during the Great Depression. He walked everywhere. The only job he ever had was as a shoe salesman. He had a collection of over a thousand old movies. We must have watched all of them together. From him I learned humility, kindness, simplicity and a sense of joy no matter where I was or who I was with.

    He had an ability to craft orations that captivated. They say he got that from me. No way. I got it from him. He made the people around him better, made me better. He was utterly self-less. He had only two family members that he rarely saw. My mother and I became his family. He never married, never bore children. He loved the God that I exposed him to and served him until he died.

    Anyone who knows me will tell you that they've never seen me cry. I try to shield myself in those moments. Sign of weakness? Perhaps. I really don't know. One of the last times that I saw him was in the hospital. Kaiser Permanente on Sierra Avenue in Fontana, CA. I held it together until I got downstairs. In some unknown wing of the hospital, against a wall, I cried uncontrollably. I have no idea for how long. When I stopped I was sitting on the floor in a haze.

    George died a couple of weeks later in a nursing home. The last time I saw him he cried. He said that he was scared to die. I just held his hand until he fell asleep. I promised him that if he died that the next time he woke up, I'd be there, we'd be young and in Paradise, together. One of my biggest regrets is that I was disfellowshipped by the time he passed away. His teacher had strayed from the course and he was alone now. I regret that. I regret that he died alone in a nursing home that smelled of death and urine.

    I'd like to think that I added to the last few years of his life. I knew him for about 12 years. The last few I had to help him in and out of the car for Sunday morning breakfast which was our custom, our ritual. Wednesday's were movie day. I had to help him to the bathroom midway through the films. I'd like to think that what I added to his life was the friendship of the congregation because really they did rally around him like a family. But how much of a family really? He died alone... and I'm not sure that the promise of 'Paradise' was of any comfort to him at all. I still think of him fondly. Any time I get the notion to accumulate unecessary things I remember him. Days when I don't appreciate the simple comfort and beauty of my life, my conscience takes on his voice and I am so much better for it.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    What's a long read when it speaks so powerfully to the heart?

    You're a gifted writer and storyteller, CHL.

    Sylvia

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    Beautifully put, CHL. You were a gift to him in his declining years. Maybe you made them the best years of his life.

    And he was certainly a gift to you. Not a hell of a lot more that we can ask from a friendship.

    Thanks for writing this. Made it a better day for me.

    S4

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke
    Thanks for writing this. Made it a better day for me.

    You're welcome. Your reply made it a better day for me.

    You're a gifted writer and storyteller, CHL.

    Thanks for the read Sylvia and thanks for the compliment

  • coolhandluke
  • snowbird
    snowbird

    bttt

    Sylvia

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Sometimes that's what our past experiences are for, as well as just looking around us and seeing how lucky and fortunate we are in the ones we have that love us and we love back - a veritable opulence in fact and people who love us for who we are and not some fabricated version of love which is completely conditional on false sets of principles about who we should be and should not be to be approved. Any affection is removed if we don't conform.

    Reflecting on that is truly enriching, whilst sad when we see what others sacrificed and missed out in terms of just some real human warmth and exchange. There was a sister in my congo, an older one who I ws placed with regularly to work with on service shortly after reinstatement number 1. She has very little financially and had never married either - just dedicated all her life to the ministry and pioneering. I think she has passed on now, but I always felt so sorry for being so lonely all tha time, because apart from some bible studies, who did she have?

    Really well written, as always, with such a lot of heart and empathy and an ability to learn from some one else who was kind and deserved more out of life thn he received.

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    Really well written, as always, with such a lot of heart and empathy and an ability to learn from some one else who was kind and deserved more out of life thn he received.

    thanks lady.

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