It's Saturday afternoon at the District Assembly. The brother at the speaker's stand drones on ( while most of the audience naps discreetly)
"So, brothers, isn't it wonderful that we have the truth? And the direction of the faithful slave to guide us? Obeying them today is the same as obeying Jehovah Himself"
Suddenly, a recording booms out from the Convention Center's own PA system -
"Allright! We're gonna do......... Paranoid!"
The brother on stage starts to look perplexed as the sound of an an electric guitar fills the air:
DAH - DAH -DAH Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee DAH - DAH -DAH Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee
"Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my life"
Panic begins to set in amidst the brothers running the sound. It takes them a while to realize that it isn't coming from their system.
Ozzie's voice fills the auditorium. Once the selection finishes, "Bark at the Moon" begins. The brothers struggle to find a building employee to shut off the PA system but this takes several minutes. When he finally appears, he can't enter the room where the equipment is kept because a key has been broken off in the lock.
"Crazy Train" begins playing. They try to cut off the circuit breakers to the room - but someone put the PA system on a UPS, so it continues playing.
Seventeen Witness kids get slapped in the back of the neck for head banging during the whole fiasco. Older Witnesses blame it all on Satan and persecution. Young Witnesses do so too, at least aloud, while privately giggling.
And a good time is had by all. Except for the stuffed shirts running the platform.
metatron