A different story

by Babylon the Great Employee 5 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Babylon the Great Employee
    Babylon the Great Employee

    I have been shocked to read all of the stories about congregations hiding evidence of child molestation. Not just because of the tragedy of the situations, but also because my own experience has been exactly the opposite.

    The elders in our congregation harbored a sister and her three children, who was wanted by police. She was on the run, because she did not have custody of her children, and she had taken them from their father and left the state. She had accused her ex-husband of child molestation. The police had investigated, but dismissed the accusations as being of her invention, a judge awarded custody to the father while calling her an unfit mother, and she left with the children.

    My grandparents believed her story that her ex was abusing her children, and they gave her food and what money they could spare. Not very long afterwards, this sister accused my grandfather of molesting her daughter in an attempt to extort money. When that didn't work, she went to the elders. The elders in the congregation believed her, went to the police, and the police then questioned neighborhood children who suddenly remembered they were molested too. The jury, although two jurors actually fell asleep during the trial, believed the stories, failed to recognize the disturbing contradictions in the testimony (for instance, these two girls were sisters and they both had the exact same story: that each was molested while her sister was in the other room, she called for help and they both ran away and never came back), and returned a guilty verdict. Obviously our family believes he is innocent, but my grandfather went to jail. He was DF'd, even though he maintained his innocence (and still does).

    Any criminal attorney will tell you, if the charge is sexual abuse, there's almost always going to be a conviction regardless of the quality of the testimony/evidence. This is a complete reversal from 25 years ago when you couldn't even get the case to trial. I've heard many times about how children never lie about sexual abuse, but it's been proven over and over again that isn't the case. Children do lie about sexual abuse, but not generally of their own volition. The McMartin preschool case is the most notorious example of this. Overzealous social workers/police/prosecutors can plant ideas in children's minds, especially very young children, and the result is they even start believing it actually happened. And sometimes it becomes a children's way of "punishing" an adult who has upset the child in some other way, as children are often told repeatedly that "if someone ever touches you... tell us and we'll make sure they go to jail."

    As for the sister that made the accusation, she spent some time in jail for taking her children in violation of the custody order. She wasn't DF'd though. Later, after she was able to regain visitation rights, the daughter made another accusation against someone else. Depending on the jurisdiction, prior accusations are not admissible to impeach the character of an accuser. It wasn't permitted in our jurisdiction. But the prosecutor's office did not pursue the case for the third accusation, in light of the pattern of accusations. I don't know what became of the child, but I can't imagine she ended up a very stable individual with such a history.

    All I do know is that the elders would pick and choose who they believed and who they didn't, for whom they broke the law and for whom they zealously sought justice. It isn't the place of the elders to determine when a crime should be reported or not. If they have a knowledge of a crime, or accusation has been made of a crime, it should be reported no matter what. They should never make the determination of whether an accusation or charge has merit themselves and not report it. Of course, in our case the only crime they chose to report was the child molestation, for which they zealously and aggresively sought "justice." Sadly, most elders do the opposite and choose to protect perpetrators of heinous crimes (while arbitrarily disfellowshipping others for minor violations of WT policies).

    Because of my experiences, I don't automatically believe, or disbelieve, any accusation of sexual abuse. Everyone is entitled to a fair trial (a fair one, where the jury stays awake for it... although my legal training has taught me you can't regulate whether a jury pays attention or not), and it shouldn't be up to the elders to make the decision of whether or not an accusation is reported. For an organization that is supposed to follow the law and not be involved, they seem to have a problem doing either one. The tragedy is the lives they destroy in the process of ironically acting as judge and jury themselves.

    Sorry for such a long diatribe, but I thought I would offer a different perspective on the topics at hand.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    The elders in our congregation harbored a sister and her three children, who was wanted by police.

    You do realize this is a crime? Harboring a kidnapper?

    The elders in the congregation believed her, went to the police, and the police then questioned neighborhood children who suddenly remembered they were molested too

    Your story doesn't quite ring true. I get the feeling you are leaving out some rather large chunks of the story. Children don't just "suddenly remember" being sexually assaulted. You imply the children are lying. What evidence do you have of this? How did the police know which child to interview? Did they go door to door asking random people? Why would the police start interviewing random children based on one woman's accusation about her own daughter?

    The jury, although two jurors actually fell asleep during the trial, believed the stories, failed to recognize the disturbing contradictions in the testimony (for instance, these two girls were sisters and they both had the exact same story: that each was molested while her sister was in the other room, she called for help and they both ran away and never came back), and returned a guilty verdict.

    So the only evidence against your grandfather was the word of two girls? No other evidence was presented?

    How old were the girls? Am I to understand that both girls claimed to have been assaulted by your grandfather? If so, what is inconsistent about one girl being in one room and the other girl being in another room? It could be possible that they were assaulted separately.

    Any criminal attorney will tell you, if the charge is sexual abuse, there's almost always going to be a conviction regardless of the quality of the testimony/evidence

    This is the biggest load of waffle I've ever heard. So you feel that all a child has to do is scream "RAPE" and the poor innocent guy is automatically convicted? I'm sorry but that is the most ignorant, stupidly sweeping statement I've heard in some time.

    I've heard many times about how children never lie about sexual abuse, but it's been proven over and over again that isn't the case.

    OH well as long as it's been proven then.

    Has it happened where a child lied? Yes of course. Has a false accusation ever been made? Yes of course. But there is quite a lot more to convicting a sexual predator than just a child's word.

    Children do lie about sexual abuse

    Some of us, can only wish we were lying. I'd much rather be a liar than live with the memories of people who raped me as a child and who got away with it. Including my father, who is still a ministerial servant in good standing.

    You sound very much like my family. They branded me a liar as well. Of couse since I couldn't produce videotape, or two eyewitnesses then I must be lying right?

    The McMartin preschool case is the most notorious example of this. Overzealous social workers/police/prosecutors can plant ideas in children's minds, especially very young children, and the result is they even start believing it actually happened. And sometimes it becomes a children's way of "punishing" an adult who has upset the child in some other way, as children are often told repeatedly that "if someone ever touches you... tell us and we'll make sure they go to jail."

    And because of one instance 23 years ago, you're willing to brand every child with the same brush? And I disagree with you. The probability of accuracy generally is in direct proportion to how young the child is. Consider how many 5 year olds can describe oral sex, or the taste of semen versus how many 10 year olds, or 15 year olds. Children are not aware of the details involving sex acts. If they are, that is a red flag and those trained in child abuse prosection recognize such indications.

    Do you realize how difficult it is to step forward with the accusation of abuse? It is terribly frightening. Additionally the act of sexual abuse is very shaming. A victim has their body used against their will.

    And you think by simply teaching a child to tell an adult if they are touched is going to cause that child to run to the police and scream "RAPE" just because Daddy didn't buy them an Xbox? Are you aware of how sweeping your statements are?

    It isn't the place of the elders to determine when a crime should be reported or not. If they have a knowledge of a crime, or accusation has been made of a crime, it should be reported no matter what. They should never make the determination of whether an accusation or charge has merit themselves and not report it.

    At last we can agree on something.

    Everyone is entitled to a fair trial (a fair one, where the jury stays awake for it... although my legal training has taught me you can't regulate whether a jury pays attention or not),

    Why didn't your grandfather's attorney speak to the judge when it happened? This is absolutely within the judge's area of authority and he would have taken action, perhaps even dismissing the juror or even the whole jury and ordering a re-trial. I don't know if that would have happeend, but it is the attorney's responsibility to speak up if he sees juror misconduct.

    Sorry but I, obviously, vehemently disagree with your "diatribe". I don't know the circumstances surrounding your grandfather but you are way out of bounds to extrapolate your belief of his innocence into statements about child abuse that are, at best, foolish.

    Chris

  • Babylon the Great Employee
    Babylon the Great Employee
    The elders in our congregation harbored a sister and her three children, who was wanted by police.

    You do realize this is a crime? Harboring a kidnapper?

    Yes, the elders in our congregation committed a crime by knowing she was a fugitive, and not reporter her. My grandparents were not aware of her status as a fugitive when they assisted her, only that she ran away from an abusive husband. But the elders were very aware.

    The elders in the congregation believed her, went to the police, and the police then questioned neighborhood children who suddenly remembered they were molested too

    Your story doesn't quite ring true. I get the feeling you are leaving out some rather large chunks of the story. Children don't just "suddenly remember" being sexually assaulted. You imply the children are lying. What evidence do you have of this? How did the police know which child to interview? Did they go door to door asking random people?

    You don't have to believe my story anymore than I have to believe any other story. I don't have any "evidence" anymore than any other member of this message board has "evidence" of their own experiences. All you have is my perspective. That said, the police did interview neighborhood children in their investigation, because the elders had suggested they do so. My grandmother had neighborhood girls over for baking cookies, for which the elders had previously rebuked her.

    The jury, although two jurors actually fell asleep during the trial, believed the stories, failed to recognize the disturbing contradictions in the testimony (for instance, these two girls were sisters and they both had the exact same story: that each was molested while her sister was in the other room, she called for help and they both ran away and never came back), and returned a guilty verdict.

    So the only evidence against your grandfather was the word of two girls? No other evidence was presented? How old were the girls?

    Am I to understand that both girls claimed to have been assaulted by your grandfather? If so, what is inconsistent about one girl being in one room and the other girl being in another room? It could be possible that they were assaulted separately.

    I believe the girls were 9 and 10 at the time. The inconsistency with the story is that if Girl A says, "I was in the room alone with Man, and Man touched me inappropriately. I screamed for my sister, we ran out of the house, and we never went back to Man's house again." Then Girl B (the sister of Girl A) can't also have the exact same story, saying she was touched, she screamed for her sister, they left and never came back. Yes, it would be possible for them to be assaulted separately, however, that was not their testimony. I know, because I have the trial transcripts.

    Any criminal attorney will tell you, if the charge is sexual abuse, there's almost always going to be a conviction regardless of the quality of the testimony/evidence

    This is the biggest load of waffle I've ever heard. So you feel that all a child has to do is scream "RAPE" and the poor innocent guy is automatically convicted? I'm sorry but that is the most ignorant, stupidly sweeping statement I've heard in some time.

    No, not all a child has to do is scream rape. It has to at least sound credible to the prosecution. But no physical evidence, only testimony from the alleged victim, is necessary for a conviction. I am not talking about rape; with rape there is likely to be physical evidence. But with molestation there is rarely evidence. And the rate of conviction in molestation cases is still extraordinarily high.

    I've heard many times about how children never lie about sexual abuse, but it's been proven over and over again that isn't the case.

    OH well as long as it's been proven then.

    Has it happened where a child lied? Yes of course. Has a false accusation ever been made? Yes of course. But there is quite a lot more to convicting a sexual predator than just a child's word.

    No, actually there isn't in most cases. Again, see above. (I also have experience in this topic, not based on my family experiences but in legal studies.)

    Children do lie about sexual abuse

    Some of us, can only wish we were lying. I'd much rather be a liar than live with the memories of people who raped me as a child and who got away with it. Including my father, who is still a ministerial servant in good standing.

    I'm not saying you, or anyone else on this board, is a liar. I'm not saying ALL children, or MOST children, or even MANY children lie about sexual abuse. But it does happen nonetheless. Not EVERY child who says he or she has been abused, is telling the truth.

    The McMartin preschool case is the most notorious example of this. Overzealous social workers/police/prosecutors can plant ideas in children's minds, especially very young children, and the result is they even start believing it actually happened. And sometimes it becomes a children's way of "punishing" an adult who has upset the child in some other way, as children are often told repeatedly that "if someone ever touches you... tell us and we'll make sure they go to jail."

    And because of one instance you're willing to brand every child with the same brush? And I disagree with you. The probability of accuracy generally is in direct proportion to how young the child is. Consider how many 5 year olds can describe oral sex, or the taste of semen versus how many 10 year olds, or 15 year olds.

    Do you realize how difficult it is to step forward with the accusation of abuse? It is terribly frightening. Additionally the act of sexual abuse is very shaming. A victim has their body used against their will.

    And you think by simply teaching a child to tell an adult if they are touched is going to cause that child to run to the police and scream "RAPE" just because Daddy didn't buy them an Xbox? Are you aware of how sweeping your statements are?

    Again, I'm not "branding every child with the same brush," and had you read the post objectively you can see that isn't what I am saying. You read my post already on the defensive that I must be personally attacking you and every other child that has made an accusation of rape or molestation. I am not. What I am attacking is the assertion that EVERY child (or more likely, the parent/adult that has encouraged him/her to do so) who makes an allegation is telling the truth. Sometimes it isn't the truth at all.

    No, I don't know how difficult it is to step forward with an accusation of abuse. I only know what my mother has told me. She was raped by her own father as a child, and the police did not prosecute her father. I only know what a friend of mine who was molested by a family friend has told me. I have never experienced that crime myself. I'm sorry you have. But that doesn't mean that because it happened to you, that it happened to everyone else who says it did, and that innocent people don't suffer because of false accusations.

    No, I don't think that telling a child to tell an adult if they are touched automatically makes them run to the police. However, when a child has been emotionally abused/brainwashed and used as a weapon against other adults, then yes, that behavior can certainly be taught to children.

    It isn't the place of the elders to determine when a crime should be reported or not. If they have a knowledge of a crime, or accusation has been made of a crime, it should be reported no matter what. They should never make the determination of whether an accusation or charge has merit themselves and not report it.

    At last we can agree on something.

    Everyone is entitled to a fair trial (a fair one, where the jury stays awake for it... although my legal training has taught me you can't regulate whether a jury pays attention or not),

    Why didn't your grandfather's attorney speak to the judge when it happened? This is absolutely within the judge's area of authority and he would have taken action, perhaps even dismissing the juror or even the whole jury and ordering a re-trial. I don't know if that would have happeend, but it is the attorney's responsibility to speak up if he sees juror misconduct.

    Sorry but I, obviously, vehemently disagree with your "diatribe". I don't know the circumstances surrounding your grandfather but you are way out of bounds to extrapolate your belief of his innocence into statements about child abuse that are, at best, foolish.

    Actually, when it comes to juries, there is very little the judge can do to make certain that the jury is actually paying attention to the evidence. Napping jurors happen a lot more than you think, and it is within the judge's broad discretion to ever order a mistrial. A couple napping jurors won't cause a judge to scuttle a trial in most cases. The jurors got a rebuke.

    The statements I am asserting about child abuse, i.e. that not EVERY child who says they are abused are actually abused, is not foolish, but rather is substantiated by actual cases. You can deny that if you like, but it's true.

    I understand that this is obviously a touchy subject for you, and for others, and I didn't write this post to be disrespectful. I wrote this post to illustrate that the elders arbitrarily report crimes, make decisions that adversely effect other peoples' lives. They have stood by and allowed children to be abused, and also not reported other criminals, such as that sister, who kidnapped her own children and subjected them to her own mental abuse while being quite zealous about supporting the prosecution of my grandfather.

    Whether you believe my grandfather molested children or not, whether you believe me or not, I just wanted to share my story, plain and simple. Child molestation hurts more than just the victims. Accusations, true or false, destroy a lot of other innocent bystanders.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    I understand your points, but please tell me that the grandfather you say was unjustly accused and convicted was not the same grandfather that you talk about here: I only know what my mother has told me. She was raped by her own father as a child, and the police did not prosecute her father.

  • Babylon the Great Employee
    Babylon the Great Employee

    Oh sorry, yes, I should have clarified that. Yes, different grandfather.

    One reason it affected our family so greatly is that my mother had suffered such an unbelievable traumatic event as a child, had never received justice, and then faced a beloved member of our family being accused of hurting children and jailed for something we don't believe he did. I think that's the most frustrating thing about it, knowing how many people never get justice, while someone we believe is innocent was wrongly accused.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    That said, the police did interview neighborhood children in their investigation, because the elders had suggested they do so

    Forgive me, why did the elders suggest they do so? At that point, the only accusation was the mother (on behalf of her daughter) against your grandfather.

    The inconsistency with the story is that if Girl A says, "I was in the room alone with Man, and Man touched me inappropriately. I screamed for my sister, we ran out of the house, and we never went back to Man's house again." Then Girl B (the sister of Girl A) can't also have the exact same story, saying she was touched, she screamed for her sister, they left and never came back. Yes, it would be possible for them to be assaulted separately, however, that was not their testimony. I know, because I have the trial transcripts.

    Yes I see what you mean. Again, as I said before, I don't know the circumstances surrounding your grandfather's arrest. From speaking with other survivors I do know that it is common for a victim, especially a child, to mix up details.

    Do you have any information as to whether these two girls were coached or whether someone had some sort of agenda against your grandfather? If, as you infer, the girls were lying I am wondering what their motivation would be?

    It has to at least sound credible to the prosecution. But no physical evidence, only testimony from the alleged victim, is necessary for a conviction. I am not talking about rape; with rape there is likely to be physical evidence. But with molestation there is rarely evidence. And the rate of conviction in molestation cases is still extraordinarily high.

    Forgive me, as in your original post you use both "molestation" and "sexual abuse". I apologize as I understood your original post to be about the entire spectrum of sexual abuse of children rather than sexual molestation/fondling.

    Then with the more narrow crime of fondling, then yes I will agree with the quote above. But that's kind of obvious isn't it? I mean the crime would be an adult touching a child. So by definition, there is no physical evidence is there?

    With all due respect, what other sort of evidence would you want the prosecution to use? At this point it is the word of the accused versus the word of the accuser. The prosecution will rely on child psychologists who, hopefully, are trained in recognizing signs of molestation/fondling.

    Again I will say that I have no doubt mistakes have been made, as with any other prosecution of other crimes. The city of Dallas has recently had 16 convictions overturned due to DNA evidence (none of them child abuse related). My point being that our judicial system is inherently flawed. If you are trying to make the case that your grandfather is innocent because it is possible that one of the children made a mistake in testimony, well I suppose I have to agree with you that it is possible. It also possible the opposite is true.

    No, actually there isn't in most cases. Again, see above. (I also have experience in this topic, not based on my family experiences but in legal studies.)

    See my response above. I made the mistake of reading your original post wherein you interposed molestation and sexual abuse as referring to the entire spectrum of sexual explotation of children involving sexual predators. My mistake. I realize now you are referring to a very specific instance that involved a family member accused of alleged molestation/fondling.

    I'm not saying ALL children, or MOST children, or even MANY children lie about sexual abuse. But it does happen nonetheless. Not EVERY child who says he or she has been abused, is telling the truth.

    With all due respect, that is not how you phrased your original post. It would have been helpful if you had used the above phrase as I would have understood better where you coming from. Instead you made these statements:

    Any criminal attorney will tell you, if the charge is sexual abuse, there's almost always going to be a conviction regardless of the quality of the testimony/evidence.

    I've heard many times about how children never lie about sexual abuse, but it's been proven over and over again that isn't the case.

    Children do lie about sexual abuse, but not generally of their own volition.

    Overzealous social workers/police/prosecutors can plant ideas in children's minds, especially very young children, and the result is they even start believing it actually happened.

    And sometimes it becomes a children's way of "punishing" an adult who has upset the child in some other way, as children are often told repeatedly that "if someone ever touches you... tell us and we'll make sure they go to jail."

    I do not see modifers such as "many" or "some" in front of "children" in your original post. You made no attempt to define who or what segment you were speaking of. It would have been very helpful if you could have been more specific. If I read someone saying "children" it is natural to believe the person is speaking in general, not specific, terms. In this paragraph you are clearly not speaking about your own experience, or more correctly your grandfather's experience, you instead charge ahead like a bull in a china shop making broad and sweeping statements that are just not accurate.

    Your quote above would have been much more accurate, and helpful, in understanding your original post.

    Again, I'm not "branding every child with the same brush," and had you read the post objectively you can see that isn't what I am saying. You read my post already on the defensive that I must be personally attacking you and every other child that has made an accusation of rape or molestation. I am not. What I am attacking is the assertion that EVERY child (or more likely, the parent/adult that has encouraged him/her to do so) who makes an allegation is telling the truth. Sometimes it isn't the truth at all.

    You should have read my post more carefully as I specifically agreed with you that not every accusation is accurate or true. I also agreed with you that I believe it has happened that a child has lied about child abuse. You were the one making very broad generalizations about a subject that is triggering to many survivors. I do not know of many survivors of child abuse who would not respond to someone saying "Children do lie about child abuse ...".

    You tell me I did not read your post objectively, I could respond the same. You made very general statements about children and child abuse based on what you witnessed a family going through. You extrapolated that experience into a diatribe (to use your word) against children. Nowhere in your original post did you make the effort to say some children lie. Nowhere did you make the effort to say some accusations are false.

    Instead you used phrases such as "any criminal attorney" or "almost always". This is, or should be, used to give the reader the impression you are speaking as a whole, to the general rather than the specific. For you now to turn around and try to tell me that I did not read your post objectively is not accurate, unfair and disingenuous. I did your post accurately. It is not my fault you wrote it so poorly.

    If you knew me better, you would know that I am not one to pick at words, but frankly on this subject you bandying about as you did is ill advised. I am sorry for your situation,if your grandfather is indeed innocent, but it is foolish to project your belief of his innocence on to the general subject of child abuse, or even a more specific one of molestation/fondling. For one who experienced the hideous evil of child abuse, it is nearly impossible to stand by and listen while someone casually throws out a phrases such as "Children do lie ...".

    And yeah, you touched a nerve. Big time. I refuse to apologize for it.

    What I am attacking is the assertion that EVERY child (or more likely, the parent/adult that has encouraged him/her to do so) who makes an allegation is telling the truth. Sometimes it isn't the truth at all.

    Once again, please read my original post. I agreed with the idea that not all allegations are accurate or truthful. I also agree that it is possible, and I'm sure it has happened, that one parent has encouraged a child to make a false accusaion. I do not know how many more times I can say this before you hear me. Please read my post objectively.

    The statements I am asserting about child abuse, i.e. that not EVERY child who says they are abused are actually abused, is not foolish, but rather is substantiated by actual cases. You can deny that if you like, but it's true.

    God bless you, you just keep on with it. Please read my original post where I agreed that not every allegation is truthful or accurate. Please show me where I have denied that.

    I understand that this is obviously a touchy subject for you, and for others, and I didn't write this post to be disrespectful. I wrote this post to illustrate that the elders arbitrarily report crimes, make decisions that adversely effect other peoples' lives. They have stood by and allowed children to be abused, and also not reported other criminals, such as that sister, who kidnapped her own children and subjected them to her own mental abuse while being quite zealous about supporting the prosecution of my grandfather.

    I hear you, and I hope you have heard me. Elders stood by and allowed my father to get off scot free. From the stories I've heard over the years, Jehovah's Witnesses have a lot to answer for.

    This is a delicate subject. Most victims have had to fight against accusations of lying. Many victims have had to struggle against being told someone else put the idea in their head. Part of the recovery for a victim is the understanding that folks like that, who may be well meaning, are really in denial. And that denial only hurts someone who has already been victimized. For you to throw that out there, and then tell me I am not being objective in responding to you is unfair. You can't have it both ways.

    If you want to make your point, then please do so with more care and more accuracy.

    Whether you believe my grandfather molested children or not, whether you believe me or not, I just wanted to share my story, plain and simple.

    I don't believe or disbelieve you. This is the Internet, where anyone can be anything. I only know what you tell me, and with what words you choose. My post to you was not personal. In my opinion you could have phrased your message in a more focused, and clear, manner and misunderstanding could have been avoided.

    Chris

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