resources for unbelieving mates?

there are four lights

I met a woman on another discussion board whose husband has just gotten baptized. I think he was raised as a JW, they met and married, had a child, and now he's gone back to it. She is very upset and doesn't know what to do. Is there any groups out there for people whose spouses are JW's? Thanks.

insearchoftruth

I myself am a UBM and this board has been fantastic with support as well as with answering questions and providing information when requested. Ask any question you may have and there are plenty of folks on this forum who have information and the experience to assist.

M.J.

Too bad he already got baptized. Tough one.

Let her know she can pm me and I can point her to some threads and other materials I've saved on this. I've been doing the UBM thing for a while.

carla

I'm a ubm too, quite a few here. A wealth of information here, just about anything she could possibly think of and plenty she hasn't even considered to be had here. Tell her to protect her child, that should be her number one agenda. Under no circumstances should she allow her child anywhere near a kh.

She wondering what life will be like being married to a jw? In a nutshell- he will always choose the wt and cong over her & children, he will abandon her & kids on a regular basis each and every week to do jw related things. Usually every Tues, possibly Wed, Thurs, Fri mornings if possible, Sat mornings and then the Sunday meeting. He will become afraid of things and people that never bothered him before, movies will be monitered and even commercials will be considered to racy for the righteous to see and in a panicsticken state will search madly for the remote, discussions will become superficial if she does not become a jw because she will be rejecting his god and the 'truth'. Intimate life is no longer very intimate as the whole damn cong will hear about their relationship and gossip to fill in any blanks. All holidays are over as she knew them, this doesn't mean she shouldn't still go all out for holidays if she wishes. She will probably become disgusted that her husband could truly believe that turning in a pedophile to the elders rather than the police is a good thing. Further disgust when she realizes he would let her and their children die rather than dirty his own hands by allowing life saving blood transfusions to keep them alive. Well, I could go on but now I am getting too disgusted and will have to see my jw in a while and it will carry over.

Tell her now is the time to panic and get herself educated about the org and laws in her state re:child custody, divorce, $, etc.... Or have plans to keep her child out and hang on for the next 18 years or so, so she will know where her kids are rather than let him get them every other weekend and not know who is trying to indoctrinate them. It aint' easy but I know some ubm's who are doing just that, I know of one who can't wait until his prison sentence is done with his jw wife and plans on rolling out of there as soon as the youngest is 18.

blondie

There used to be a place UBMs from JWD could go and talk. Check with jgnat and see if they still have it.