Your borned again biblestudent is in his humerous mode;
John 11:20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary sat in the house. 21 Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 And even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." 23 Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." 24 Martha said to him, "I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." 25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, 26 and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?" 27 She said to him, "Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world." 28 When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying quietly, "The Teacher is here and is calling for you." 29 And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet come to the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. 32 Then Mary, when she came where Jesus was and saw him, fell at his feet, saying to him, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled; 34 and he said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see." 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" 37 But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" 38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb; it was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. 39 Jesus said, "Take away the stone." Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, "Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days." 40 Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?" 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, "Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. 42 I knew that thou hearest me always, but I have said this on account of the people standing by, that they may believe that thou didst send me." 43 When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, "Laz'arus, come out." 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with bandages, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go." (ASV)
The biblical version of the incident:
Verses 20-30: Jesus comforts Martha that the resurrection of people promished by the prophets will happen on the last day and she tells him that she believe in him, the resurrection and life, the one that takes the inherited sin of Adam away and blesses those that believe eternally.
Verses 31-40: Jesus was a man and as a man he gets moved by a loss of a friend and Martha's tears and bring Lazarus back to Martha so she will not have to wait to the resurrection to see him again.
The traditional church version (or rather the consequences of that teaching):
Verses 20-30: Jesus jokes with Martha. Lazarus hadn't accepted Jesus before he died. Now he's in hell burning and at the resurrection, he will be given a body and judged. He still haven't accepted Jesus and now it's too to late so now he's thrown into new place along with hell, (us traditionals are biblical you know) the lake of fire. Martha knows she will see him in the fire back then and it will be fun. She surely believes in Jesus and we all know that the opposite to eternity is eternity in pain and she knows that too. She will go to heaven, hanging out. Too bad about Laz, he was bothersome anyway.
Verses 31-40: Jesus is God ya know, he can do what he wants. He misses Laz perhaps and want to show of anyway. So he bring Laz back to life so he can accept Jesus and escape hell.
-fin-
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