The Christians armory traditionally consisted of such solid stuff as the
Breastplate of righteousness
Feet shod with the good news of peace
Large shield of faith
Helmet of salvation
Sword of the spirit
but this clearly needs to be updated as over 2 thousand years have passed and we are nearer to ‘end’ as we have never been. The following are essential accoutrement for the hardy dub of the 21st Century. But please feel free to add anymore.
Tee-Shirt of righteousnessless The durable ‘breastplate’ has been updated by a versatile nylon Tee. It offers little in the way of real protection but washes pretty well though the stains can be seen.
Air –Nike Trainers These allow the JW to pivot and maneuver around the minefield of WTS duplicity whilst declaring good news of the everlasting end.
Tie pin of faith Not quite as able to ‘quench the wicked ones fiery missiles’ but can look cool with the right shirt and tie combo. Could hurt if you sat on one.
Baseball cap of unfounded hopeCan be worn back to front like as most of WTS prophecy is better understood back to front. The cap is also reversible which is also like most WTS doctrine.
Rolled up Watchtower of the spirit The WTS have long since abandoned God’s Word in favour of teachings of men.
Other must-haves are
Dark glasses of Deception. Ideal for looking menacing even if asleep. Guaranteed to keep you in darkness.
Headphones of Monotony. Allows the trusting dub to be made brain dead by the WTS mantras without allowing any sensible material to pass between the ears.
ISP