ever since i have begun this so called journey into finding my own i have come to certain realizations about the "world" around me. yes the world. the world is amazing. there is so much to look forward to. why should i have to forsake myself and my life and my feelings and try to look forward to an imaginary world there is no proof of? this is ludicrous people. hm..
for instance i am finally moving into my apartment with my boyfriend tomorrow. this is something i would never think of happening in my "previous life" i guess you could say.. oh but how excited i am! to have my own space, this will be a welcomed change. i am free to live my life the way i please. yes finally i am allowed to do something. anything. no dont get me wrong im not all about having my own way i just want my basic rights and freedoms. this is no different than any other "normal" person. is this not a sick realization? i am excited and happy to be able to live. that is sick and frightening, we have been denied our lives for so long that when we finally start to live them we feel uncomfortable overwhelmed and completely anxious, wondering what is to become of us. especially now because all we have ever truly known to be true has been proven a lie. again,we are scared and for so many different reasons. the first for me was how did i come to believe this? if my mind can be so easily consumed and taught and molded to believe something so wrong what else am i capable of? what else may i be lead to believe or do even?
the biggest issue for me would have to be the coming of the end of the world. obviously there will be no "Armageddon" but look at the world today. there is no thriving economy, or healthy environment, the earth as a planet, really is doomed. so what hope do i now have? where am supposed to put my faith.. this is the key people. i realize that i only only worry about this because the cult has taught me to worry about it. everyone else is out there living their lives. i am a normal human being. i have roughly a hundred year time frame to live just like everyone else. we are all going to die. This is the immediate truth, so there is no real cause for concern as to the environment,or my health, or the economy or anything else since the means of ending my life makes no difference what so ever. this does not mean that i don't care about such things of course i do. they influence my life on a daily basis.. peak oil... gas prices.... war on terrorism... everything is a cause for concern these days. the difference is that they aren't signs of the end of this " system of things." this is how to world works. there are only so many resources you can exploit before they run out. how is this hard to understand.. we use oil for everything so when it runs out we are fucked.. do you think that god decided to schedule Armageddon for just the same time our oil supply runs out and we realize that we can no longer function as a people. all that is left for us to do is sit in our homes and breathe. then the end of the world will come. people need to look at the bigger picture. the world is like this because ancestors were not smart enough to plan ahead and schedule our consumption in order for it to be sustainable. or find another renewable resource to exploit to its full capacity. when something is gone it is gone. we cannot say that god took it away and is going to save us fro our fate if we have been good. this makes no sense what so ever.in the end there is a cluster fuck of reasons why we are going to eventually see the end of this world not as a final destruction but as we know it. something soon will drastically have to change.. the way he economy is we are sure to see another depression very soon. the same if not far worse than the first one. then there is the environment. if you have ever seen the movie the day after tomorrow, we truly are not far from this. of course it will not happen that fast but it is basically true. we as a civilization a royally fucked and this is the truth and the light. we can say lets do something about it before it is too late but really. where is the point of no return? i personally think the time has come and gone. wordy realization is a lot to take in. but remember we did this to ourselves. there is no paradise that we are ever going to see and no amount of prayer is going to save us.
now comes the fun point. Jesus people... learn to enjoy your lives. live in the moment. be happy to experience the mundane things, the small joys of everyday life. because any day now they could all be gone. have fun. i don't mean go get plastered laid and kill yourself or anything but try to see things in a different perspective. be happy for what you have instead of complaining that the world has dealt you a bad hand. Everything is a change in perspective........ just think