My Story: Part 1 - Early Days

It's early but I can't sleep. I have too much going on inside my head. I have been back and forth several times deciding whether or not to finally post my story. I guess now is the time, especially as JWD closing. This story can also be found at the new jwsupport forum.

Disclaimer: Names and places have been changed. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental...just kidding (except for the names and places).

Truthseeker

Welcome to my world. A world in which I was part of but never felt I belonged to. A world that was lonely, devoid of friendship. A world which taught me that those not part of my world would eventually die. A world in which I was bullied at school for being part of this world and a world which taught me to be no part of "the world."

It was a world of contrasts - black and white, yes and no, for us or against us. There was no in between, no middle ground and no fence-sitting. This was the world of Jehovah's Witnesses.

This is my story of how I came to be part of this world and why I left it and why, even after leaving it, it still remains a part of me.

I am a third generation Jehovah's Witness. I was born and "raised in the truth" - a phrase often used to describe the fate of all those unlucky newborns who are born to Witness parents. I grew up in the picturesque county of Hampshire, England. Although my home town will remain nameless, it was a seaside town. The countryside was only 15 minutes away, so I had the best of both worlds. I would often walk along the promenade enjoying the fresh breeze and tasting the salty sea air but I digress.

In the world of Jehovah's Witnesses, spirituality (also known as your performance rating) has only two levels - strong and weak. You are considered "strong" if you attend, on a regular basis, all five meetings on a weekly basis, engage in weekend preaching, comment at the meetings, prepare for the meetings and, if you are a family head, conducting a family bible study. If you are a brother, you must be seen to be "reaching out", that is taking on more responsibility in the congregation. If you are not "reaching out" but you are doing all the previous activities mentioned, you are considered weak.

My parents were considered weak. My father aspired to no position in the congregation and was never asked to attain to one. He did have certain responsibilities, such as managing the literature counter and was occasionally asked to open the meeting with prayer - when he remembered to wear his suit jacket. My father had an independent spirit; this was partially due to his upbringing and the effect it had on him. He was disillusioned with "the truth" but still felt that overall this was the organization that Jehovah was using. My mother suffered with a debilitating disease and did her best for Jehovah but she never felt as if she was doing enough.

The congregation I grew up in was not particularly diverse; in fact it was completely white. I never got to meet anyone of a different culture during the time I went there. It had a reputation for being extremely unfriendly, unwelcoming and unloving. The congregation's reputation went far and wide and over the years it caught the attention of the circuit and district overseers. This was the congregation I would spend the next 25 years of my life in.

I had many health problems growing up. I suffered with food allergies which made me hyperactive and somewhat aggressive. After many visits to various doctors and specialists it was decided that I would be put on a special diet. I adhered to this diet for many years (under the watchful eye of my parents) and gradually my symptoms and behavior improved. I got into all kinds of trouble as I got older but nothing that ever got me reproved or disfellowshipped. One amusing story my mother reminded me of was when I hid the house keys of an old member of the anointed and forgot where I put them.

While growing up, I was allowed to play with the kids down my street. This is definitely a no-no for most Witness parents but my parents weren't as strict. Besides, I had no friends my own age in the congregation as our family were rarely invited out socially. Those were the innocent, happy days of my life - playing football in the local park, climbing trees, scrumping apples from my neighbor’s garden - all the things that kids do at that age.

My father was inactive up until I turned 11. My mother would take me and my siblings to the meetings by herself. She hadn't got her license yet, but fortunately for us the Kingdom Hall was within walking distance. I remember those early days well. Our Kingdom Hall was none other than a rented hall in the local high school. The chairs were wooden and were extremely uncomfortable to sit on. The Kingdom Melodies were played on a very large and very old record player. After the meeting ended, the chairs and the sound equipment had to be put away. One thing I remember that I didn't consider odd at the time was the long table at the far right of the hall which had all the Society's literature on. It was staffed by a couple of brothers and after the meeting there was a line of people waiting to be served with their money ready. This was the era of paid literature. This arrangement seemed perfectly normal at the time and I had no reason to question it. Years later I would be reminded of Jesus' words, "you received free, give free."

As an unbaptized Jehovah's Witness, my religious beliefs were pretty much of a non-issue for me until I entered high school. Most schools in England still have public prayers and sometimes hymns during class assemblies. There were a few kids in my congregation who attended elementary school with me, and each day the school had a class assembly we went to the dining room where as a substitute, a roster of sisters, many of them parents would come into the school and conduct a "meeting" just for us. My first publication I remember studying during these substitute class assemblies was the 1971 publication "Listening to the Great Teacher." In that book I learnt all the great lessons of life such as listening to my parents, telling the truth, why it's wrong to steal. As we got older we studied the Watchtower once a week. Occasionally we would play miming games based on events that happened in the Bible.

One of the sisters who conducted our Witness assemblies was a regular pioneer. We all loved it when she took our "assembly". She was bright and bubbly and very enthusiastic for the truth. Her son was a year older than me and was also in the class assembly. One day she offered 50p to anyone who could recite all 66 books of the Bible. In today's money, 50p is worth about $1. I took up the challenge and worked hard all week to memorize the names of the bible books and finally when the day came when we had to recite them. I was the only one who could recite all the Bible books in order. I gleefully reached out for my prize. This sister also studied with me and brought me my very own copy of the Bible. Later, she would leave the truth over thoughtless comments made by a local elder.

Due to my father's inactive status and my mother's health, we never went out on field service as a family. I think perhaps I can count on one finger the number of times I went out on service until the age of 15 where an elder in my congregation took a special interest in me...

My Story: Part 1 - Early Days

truthseeker

sweet pea

jaguarbass

dogisgod

milliemootoo

Share this