I do not know if you have read any of my posts under the dating forum, but I have been having some issues with my current relationship. For the last month, I feel like I am pushing her away, and I was not sure why. Well finally this weekend I put my finger on it. It was because of my past with my mom and her borderline personality. She was dependent on me for 11 years to be her emotional support. It was very stressful, yet I came to rely on this. I finally broke free of it. My mom stopped needing me, but at first I did not know how to stop needing her needing me. I still thought she needed me because she was and still is with an abusive guy. Anyhow, this is my first relationship since getting out of the cycle with my mom. About 3 weeks into it, I started pushing her away. I did not know why, well recently I realized I was afraid of her becoming emotionally dependent on me and causing another cycle. Well then I thought I have to break up with her because she is going to start this all over with me, but then I realized, what if she was never becoming emotionally dependent, what if I was just projecting all my fears onto her. So I know it may be more me. I may not be completely ready for a relationship, but I like her and I am willing to give it another go. If I feel this pressure or anything again...then I am going to end it, but this is what I am thinking....Sorry this post is so long...Just wanted to share my rambling thoughts in my mind. Thanks for listening....
what I am thinking......
by wonderwoman77 3 Replies latest jw experiences
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Sam Beli
You are welcome.
Sam Beli
I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted. Solomon
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slipnslidemaster
*spanks it*
Just kidding.
Slipnslidemaster:"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni -
COMF
Time alone is a very good thing, WW. It gives you time to deal with personal issues that you shove aside when someone is taking up all your time and attention. I love my time alone. They say you ought to allow yourself a year after the breakup of a relationship, before you start considering another one. I used to think that was crap, but now I'm all for it. I question whether a year is long enough.
You're doing great by recognizing what's going on inside yourself at the subconscious level. Smart woman! Now don't start being hard on yourself. Be kind, forgiving and loving, just as you would with a friend.
It was a pleasure to read your post, to see self-improvement in action.
COMF