It just dawned on me that the WBTS is doing humanity a great service by not observing Christmas and Birthdays! Wait, don't throw stuff at me yet - hear me out! Imagine if the JWs observed Christmas and Birthdays - what would they give as presents to their "wordly" relatives? That's right - Watchtower literature! Can you imagine the KM articles extolling the virtue of such gifts as one of eternal rather than fleeting value??
Maybe da Judge was a merciful SOB after all...
"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it."
- Groucho Marx