by tiffy0212 3 Replies latest jw friends
sorry tiffy....but consider yourself lucky. I just endured a godawful jw wedding and reception.....i mean PAINFUL!!! very holy people there....but you have no idea how bad until i get seated with my jw wife and family PLUS an ANNOINTED old grandpa fart of the bride!!!!....OMG.......it kinda forced the entire table to be superholy!!!!..........barf........just barf......oompa
but still.....so sorry for you being left out....it does still hurt....(((((((((tiffy))))))))))
Here's your comeback.
The purpose of politeness is to avoid hurting people's feelings. Etiquette is not "wordly". It is a very normal, common, appropriate way of conducting oneself.
jws are not "exempt" from etiquette. They just ignore it, but only when they feel like it.
The bible says we shouldn't hurt other people's feelings. Well, ok, it says so much when it tells about the golden rule, etc.
Etiquette dictates that a married couple is a social unit; hence, they are invited together to social occasions that are designed for couples. It is against etiquette (=rude and hurtful) to invite one half of a social unit when other whole units are invited to the same event.
Therefore this wedding invitation fiasco is against the bible. Therefore it is a violation of God's law.
They claim associating with outsiders is a violation of God's law too. Now there are two of God's guidelines conflicting with each other, so the best course of action is obvious--don't invite either of you, and neither law will be violated.
Instead they chose to violate one of god's laws. It sounds like they need to be counseled by the elders and to make amends for their sin by issuing an apology to you and your spouse. ;)
It's quite simple, you see. You're a pagan. You don't count.
But in any event, what are you missing? A wedding in a windowless piece of shit stinky hall? I talked many friends out of getting married in the KH. I couldn't think of a more horrid place to get married.
Here is your comeback:
You feel STUMBLED. That's exactly the word you want to use: STUMBLED.
That is a trigger word for JWs - it means that in your eyes, they have brought reproach on their religion (by treating you with contempt) and that is not how they want to be perceived by outsiders.
The other phrase you want to use is along the lines of how you had always heard that JWs were so LOVING, but the way your are being treated doesn't feel LOVING to you. This brings up the conflict of how they ought to treat you and puts it opposite to how they actually are treating you. Again, it comes down to their behaviour having brought reproach on the belief system, and that is not how they want to be perceived.
I would put it out there and focus on those two concepts and be righteously indignant about it. I would expect that the invitation will be forthcoming, and then I would promptly RSVP that I will NOT be attending. Just to make it YOUR choice, not theirs.
