Not to mention the Grand Hounding and Recapture Program that is shaping up to start this spring. It is in the 11/2008 Kool-Aid Washtowel, and soon will be studied by the witlesses. Thus, if you do not return, they are going to get you.
As for poor Satan? All he would do is create opportunities for me to get sexually involved (which is what I wanted in the first place, but that Almighty Baghead Scumbag Jehovah methodically destroyed every single one of them to this day) with the opposite sex. And get me fabulously wealthy, by allowing me to use my brain to create value and real wealth for society. And to be happy. And they are telling me that they are trying to protect me from that?
I think I would rather let Satan get me than Jehovah or any of His Witlesses.