Ruminations ---Part 2

by LoneWolf 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • LoneWolf
    LoneWolf

    Hi, everybody,

    When I first came on a board like this about a year ago (H2O) I’m afraid that I came with some misconceptions, just like everyone else. I pictured it as an amalgamation of misfits, malcontents, rebels, etc. I suppose that is somewhat accurate, although not anywhere near the extent that I had imagined. Probably the biggest mistake was in not realizing that there are very serious and profound reasons for them being that way.

    My usual custom when entering new territory is to study the natives and find out what makes them tick. I was trying that, but in the process was conducting my own business in a way I thought was normal, only to get hammered for blowing smoke, claiming that I’d done things that I didn’t, etc. I was disappointed, but not surprised, for that has been a fairly common occurrence in my life. So I posted a few of the minor experiences that I’ve had, not in an attempt to brag or get some followers, but simply to let them know that there is something here besides hot air.

    What bothered me the most though, was the level of fear. That the organization that claimed to be Jehovah’s would stoop to the level of terrorism in an attempt to keep order was appalling to me. That isn’t right, on any level. It is also something that I can’t live in peace with, especially since I have butted heads with these people for years and prevailed. If anyone fears anyone, they fear me. Given that fact, how can I just sit there and do nothing when they are eating others alive?

    So I said a few things. For instance, I said the I felt the WTBTS were strictly amateurs when it came to mind games, and that if they wanted a fight, well, make my day. Looked at through your eyes, I can understand how it looks when some uneducated country boy comes in chewing on a straw, tips his hat back and drawls easily that the problem that’s been stymieing all these high falutin' ex-elders, Bethel workers, pioneers, etc., is no problem. It must look like the height of stupidity, or at least like a terminal case of naivete.

    So by and large I’ve sat back and not said much, though it drove me nuts to do so. But now with this UN thing, I can’t. The opportunities for doing something are too many and too rich.

    That’s the purpose of this series, then. To let you know about some of the opportunities I see, how to accomplish them, and how it is that I could know of them in the first place. Hopefully, it will be able to lower the level of fear too.

    I’ve had to labor under some disadvantages most of my life, for not only am I somewhat of a loner (which makes this confession all the more difficult), but I’m also pretty close to the quintessential country boy. I have only a high school education, been raised in the woods, am totally bored stiff with “style” and the endless pecking order games that most city slickers play, etc. I guess that I have marched to a different drum than most, though it wasn’t deliberate. It’s just happened without my noticing. The results have been rather disconcerting.

    Not having much money, when problems came up I couldn’t afford lawyers, plus I wasn’t too happy with them anyway. It seemed that principle was never of concern with them, only cash. Then when it came to the media, they weren’t interested in a country hick’s thoughts, and I wasn’t much impressed with them either. They were far more interested in what was ‘politically correct’ and seemed always to want to move the piano over to the piano stool instead of the other way around.

    The end result was that I evolved my own ways of handling things. They were not illegal or violent or even immoral. But they worked big time. Enough so that in one instance in Alaska, the petroleum jobbership I was general manager for was being eaten by the oil company, Tesoro Petroleum, and I found myself lobbying the state legislature, organizing all of the jobbers in a resistance movement, and even had a letter given to me by a state senator authorizing me to investigate the whole mess in his name. I did.

    Later, after it was over, he came to me and asked me to investigate the governor. After some thought, I turned him down, as it seemed to me that all I would be doing is helping one bunch of sharks eat another. What for? The situation sobered me though. The things that I had done were because I was angry, yes, but they were almost too effective and too easy.

    It was here that I realized that I appeared to have an ability that was unusual, and I found the knowledge deeply unsettling for some very good reasons. First, what the hell was I, of all people, doing with it? Where did it come from? Secondly, what was I supposed to do with it? Such power is frightening, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt the innocent with it.

    So by and large, I buried it. Only in those instances where principle or life was on the line would I get my back up. Many times, that was within the congregation, and the tactics worked as well there as in the world. Every time, it left me shaken and wondering why and how it had come into my possession.

    Before going any further, though, I want to back up a little, for there are two things that happened earlier in life that affected this matter.

    The first is rather silly. At the age of thirteen, my father took me to Jansen Beach in Portland, Oregon. It no longer exists, but it was a large amusement park with a big roller coaster. Dad took me on it. When we got to the top of the first big hill, I instinctively tried to put on the brakes, wanting to look that hill over before going down. Naturally, there were no brakes, so down I went, stomping my foot and fighting with everything I had to slow down. The result was hair raising. I dang near messed my pants.

    I learned a huge lesson from that. From then on, whenever I could see something of any kind coming that I knew I couldn’t stop, well --- I just leaned into it. Ride that sucker! Pretend it’s a sandworm on the planet Dune and show him who’s boss!

    The other was anything but silly. From square one, I wanted to serve Jehovah. Serving him did not mean serving man, and I felt no compunction whatsoever in speaking up and objecting should someone, official or otherwise, be acting in a manner that was detrimental to others. I never did feel that my salvation depended upon their approval, so when they got their noses out of joint (which was common) I just figured that was their problem. The only real concern I had in such times was the principle in Ezekiel 3:17-21 about warning those doing wrong or sharing in their punishment.

    The following demonstrates all of the above:

    When we moved back to Oregon from Alaska, Cottage Grove was a very conservative area, and all the elders were of that type. Enthusiasm was suspect, etc. As I wrote to the Society once, “It seems that the elders here think that their Christian duty when faced with a little spark of enthusiasm is to throw a few buckets of water on it to make sure that it is real spark.” The PO was especially bad. He was of the type A personality: driving, demanding, controlling, and touchy as all get out. He had most of the other elders buffaloed.

    One day some of the kids in the congregation came to me and asked me to organize a Youth Study for them. I did and the response was fantastic, with as many as 20 or more of the teens showing up. We decided to study the Watchtower lessons with an eye towards answering on Sunday. Sure enough, the Watchtower Study the next few Sundays were livelier than anyone had ever seen them before.

    This continued and grew. Saturday morning service got to be a real highlight, and one Saturday that the elders dedicated to working on the Kingdom Hall, had such a turnout that they hardly knew what to do with all of them. One kid was there swinging a pick and shovel with a colostomy bag attached to his side, the result of being shot in the butt a few weeks before.

    One day after the sessions that same elder walked up to me and with no preliminaries, demanded nastily: “Why are you trying to supplant the Watchtower Study?”

    He barely had it out before I shot back just as nastily: “And why are you violating Proverbs 18:13 by judging a matter before you hear it?” He just stood there with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. After about two months they closed the Youth Study down in spite of some of the kids crying and asking them not to do so, as they needed this knowledge. The elder that made the announcement told them not to worry, as “this will be included in other arrangements.” That was a damned lie, of course.

    Needless to say, no elder ever attended the study to see what was happening. The biggest problem was that it was showing them up for the lazy bums that they really were, and they couldn’t tolerate that!

    That elder and I butted heads many more times, and he was always left in the same condition. About two years later I heard from my kids that his kids were spreading it all over the high school that their parents were alcoholics. I went to him in all earnestness to let him know and offered to help in any way I could. He looked at me in horror, excused himself immediately, and went home. The next day he resigned as an elder, then sold their home and moved out of town shortly afterwards.

    To all the other elders it looked for all the world as though I had taken him out. The truth is that I had no desire to do that at all, but there was no way I could convince them of that.

    But I wasn’t about to compromise with that kind of arrogant crap where they thought they could do anything to anyone and get away with it, such as the time one couple decided that they didn’t want their daughter associating with a certain elder’s son. When the elder found out, he went barreling into that family’s house and bawled them out until the dogs wouldn’t have them, thereby intimidating them into letting their daughter go out with the son. It was a couple of years later that I found out about it, but I was livid anyway. I had a few little chats with the CO the next time around and all kinds of crap hit the fan. He removed about half of them.

    Naturally, I wasn’t the most popular guy. A few years later they disfellowshipped me for “reviling”, which was nonsense from square one. The appeals committee was nothing but a charade. It didn’t hurt my feelings though, as the level of “fellowship” I enjoyed afterwards was definitely of a higher quality than I received before. Except for only a few exceptions, all I’d known before were games: mind games, ego games, one-up-man-ship games, holier-than-thou games, and I had no patience with any of them. What’s that crap doing in a theocratic organization? What’s “brotherhood” mean, anyway? There was an endless line of numbskulls who felt it was imperative to establish a pecking order with them on top. Not one succeeded.

    One lunatic even tried the same stunt AFTER I was DFed. I fixed his wagon by including this account in my next letter to the Society describing the conditions in this congregation:

    “ . . . my wife and I took a trip to Charlotte, North Carolina to see another daughter. We went to meeting and upon sitting down, an elder came over, put a hand on my shoulder and said, ‘I understand we’re not supposed to speak with you.’

    “I looked up and smiled, ‘Yep, that’s about the case.’

    “Smiling back, he squeezed my shoulder. ‘We want you to know that we are glad to see you anyway.’ Then he moved on. What a contrast! That one simple action on his part did more to encourage both my family and I than everything the elders here have done in the past 6 years rolled together.

    “How I wish you could experience that, then come back to Oregon and have Br. Paxton come sailing by with contempt in his eyes, icy demeanor and nose so high that it’s in danger of frostbite. Again, what a contrast!

    “I suppose he means well and figures that it is the correct way to motivate me. And he does, oh, yes! For every time he does it, it reminds me of the 300 lb. fat lady in stretch pants I saw waddling down the street in Southern California years ago. In short, both are ludicrous, hilarious, and equally inspiring.”

    Naturally, I sent a copy to both congregations in town and every elder named in the letter. He never again came sailing by with his nose in the air. I just can’t figure out why, either. Hehehe!!!

    Now, in order to do this kind of stuff, one has to be absolutely positive of the correctness of his or her stance and of the facts backing it, and must be able to cleanly and clearly express any facet of it on a second’s notice. This gives one the confidence and strength that is necessary. There are some very excellent ways that we can get to that point, and I want to cover that later on in this series.

    In Part 3, I’ll recount one instance where I used this method in a situation that all sane people would say is impossible. A large international conglomerate and two international unions were involved all at the same time. The results went beyond success. I'll recount each step and the logic that went behind each. Perhaps in this manner you will be able to see why it is that the idea of taking on a religion of 6 million people doesn’t phase me, and why I think that many of you can do the same thing. In reality, it’s easy. That’s because the leadership of the WTBTS is in many ways comparable to the Wizard of Oz.

    I have to hit the road in the morning, so it may be some time before I can get back to this as I have about 3,500 miles to drive this week. However, I’ll try my best to get it out fairly quickly.

    ‘Til then, take care, and be of good courage. Things are rarely as black as they look.

    LoneWolf
    Alias: Tom Howell

  • sf
    sf

    "He just stood there with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water."

    Hahaha, priceless.

    "Perhaps in this manner you will be able to see why it is that the idea of taking on a religion of 6 million people doesn’t phase me, and why I think that many of you can do the same thing. In reality, it’s easy. That’s because the leadership of the WTBTS is in many ways comparable to the Wizard of Oz."

    It's even easier in virtual reality.

    Be safe on your journey sir.

    Sincerely, sKally...NO F.E.A.R. of Man klass

    wcrestnpeace

  • LDH
    LDH

    Lonewolf,

    If I weren't a happily married woman, I'd be a headin' straight to Oregon.

    I enjoy your posts, no-nonsense, not-impressed with yourself sense of writing.

    But may I ask, what the hell--you were disfellowshipped for REVILING? Could you put that in plain English for me? I'd like to know what exactly you were reviling.

    And yes, I have had more than my share of experiences with 'Righteous overmuch Superfine Elders' who squash every bit of enthusiasm--in the name of Jesus, too!

    Lisa

  • D wiltshire
    D wiltshire

    Tom,

    Tell me more!

    If someone lived a trillion X longer than you, and had a billion X more reasoning ability would he come to the same conclusions as you?
  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    You are a good man Tom, with a good heart.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

    HS

  • LoneWolf
    LoneWolf

    I'm only home for a few hours.

    LOL, LDH. I'm afraid my wife would have a fit!

    Yup, reviling. It's one of the most ridiculous things I've run across, for sure. Remind me later and I'll tell you all about it.

    LoneWolf

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