the little voice in my head........conscience??

IWish4Truth

There's constantly a little voice in my head, yeah, you know the one that never let's a situation sit for long without making it an issue? I wonder if Im too hard on myself. I have a constant inner struggle with certain things. I know that acceptance in life is paramount but at what point does the mind start to ease up, to where you are not constantly consumed with thoughts of this one particular thing. To go back or not to go back? If so, why? I guess that with time, the answers to such questions will arrive. If anyone out there can feel where Im coming from, please holler back at me. Go easy on me!

jayhawk1

To go back or not to go back? If so, why?

If you are talking about leaving the Kingdom Hall, may I suggest a website that deals with "what ifs" and doubts.

http://goto.beyondjw.com/

I don't know the administrator of this site, but I found it very helpful last year. I am not very good at making my feelings known on the board, but I think Timothy Campbell does a good job. Most importantly, the information posted is 100% accurate.

"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

Jeremy's Hate Mail Hall Of Fame.
http://hometown.aol.com/onjehovahside/ and [email protected]

slipnslidemaster

I agree with jayhawk. That site helped me too when I first decided to start reading the "apostate" stuff.

p.s. Do you have the same problem that I have? You can never remember if you are the EVIL twin?

Slipnslidemaster:"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

Siddhashunyata

Thoughts rise and then they cease. If you attach to the thoughts you will suffer. If you merely observe them , without any judgement , they will cease. Other thoughts will rise and they also will cause suffering if you attach but if you merely acknowledge them without judging them as good or bad, they will cease. With practice your mind will become still. When your mind is still you will be living in the present moment and living in the present moment has a quality of freedom that many seek but few find. Do not despair, it becomes easier and easier as you practice. Remember, do not judge your thoughts . They will cease and new ones will rise, treat them the same way. Do not give way to guilt or you will attach and off you will go with the thoughts. Simply watch them. Enjoy learning how your mind works . By understanding yourself you will understand everything. Be patient and above all be kind to yourself. Do not judge your thoughts , they are only thoughts . Just acknowledge them and let them pass by.

Thomas Poole

to ease up, to where you are not constantly consumed with thoughts of this one particular thing. To go back or not to go back?

Helps to replace it with something for a few years: college, a church assoication, travel, social work...

The best substitution would be to find Jesus Christ and understand what this means.

Review for yourself what the Bible says about a Christian having a relationship with Jesus, his Father, and the Holy Spirit.

These are called the "I am" scriptures.

They let you know a world of information about yourself that the WT never taught. Apply them to yourself if you claim to be Christian.

Introspection

Did you ever see the movie As Good As it Gets? Remember the part where Helen Hunt's character was asking her mother how to spell conscience? "This can't be right - Con-Science???"

Seriously, sometimes it's just a matter of conditioning, or repetition. This happens with your thoughts as well as things you do. The fact that these thoughts are spinning around your head in the beginning means nothing more than the fact that it was repeated many times. Some of it may be "bible trained", but really if you look at it for what it is it's society trained, the way you're supposed to behave, make the meetings, go out in service and so on. So in a sense, it isn't "your" voice or thoughts.

Sometimes it helps to think about other things first, it can be along the same lines - do your own research about the bible, or atleast anything that is relevant to reality or your view of it. The information can click together at a later time. If you feel brave you can try to do it just through meditation, but it's good to have some support if you go that route, otherwise just be prepared for having your heart broken at a deeper level than a mere romantic crush. (remember what the scriptures say about a crushed spirit) For that matter, it's good to learn about it instead of just jumping right in, because usually there are teachings which are helpful to the practice.

One thing that may be useful as a technique is using another language. Unless you're equally fluent in that language, it probably wouldn't pack the same "theocratic punch" as English or whatever language you learned the "truth" in. Not only is it a good thing to know, it can help change that thinking pattern or atleast allow you to develop one with greater breadth.

Here's a question for ya: If you think those thoughts from the little voice is you or are yours, what is it that's asking about the voice?

ChimpGirl

Hi
Sorry for coming so late to this post, but I hope I can still be of some help. I believe that our conscience is an in-born link between us and a sense of universal morality - contact with God, if you like. The direction it takes is molded and formed by the society in which we find ourselves living; for a tribal chief, getting completely stoned and going out to kill a monkey is a heroic, many thing to do; in our society, doing the same thing would result in Trouble.

I actually believe God watches over us, but in a loving way - it's so unlike the JW god that I can't begin to describe the difference. i still catch myelf monitoring my thoughts, realise I'[m doing it in case they come 'from the Devil' and then thanking God that I have a free mind with which to think what I will. I may well ask for his guidance, but i know he understands I need to think about and question things. It doesn't mean I lack faith; the contrary, in fact - at least I'm interested.

For me the difference is this; and it may sound fuzzy but we're in ephemeral terrain here - real conscience speaking makes me feel adult, responsible, a person who can make their own choices. False conscience, the voice of Jdub mind-control, makes me feel little, fearful and bad. Maybe see if that guideline works for you?

Wishing you strength in your recovery from the Jdubs
ChimpGirl
xxx