I am the nonJW in my marriage.
A short post huh? Well, okay, I'll try to be brief, but for those who know me will attest that's a feat on the level of parting the Red Sea.
How it affects me/ our relationship
As I have stated here on JWD before, my husband was raised in the Org, but left it as a teen, so by the time we met, religion was pretty much a non-issue. He attended the KH about as much as I attended my church, which was 3 or 4 times a year. I knew nothing of JW beliefs and he wasn't too forthcoming. For example, he mentioned going to my family holiday gatherings made him feel uncomfortable because in his religion they didn't celebrate Xmas and he was unused to the environment. However, he did go without production, fanfare or sermon.
After we had been married over 5 years, he started to attend the KH, IMO because we had moved back to our hometown and it pleased his mom, plus when one has kids, it seems a search into spiritual matters occurs on a frequent basis. That's when I began to gradually learn what the WTS teaches.
I gave the Org a try-out myself for several months, but came across counterview websites and was astounded by the volume of information I was not being told during my home "Bible" study. I reacted poorly and my hubby enmeshed himself further in the Org. Wasn't very healthy for the marriage, but it survived his baptism and our arguments over religion.
Now he is fading away, and so are our disagreements over anything WT related. His JW family members are still gung-ho, and he can't seem to drop off the Elder's radar, so there are frustrations there. I suppose the situation is more edgy for him now, as I have a more "screw 'em" attitude and refuse to tiptoe around eggshells for them any longer.
How I view the JW religion
Well, now truthfully? I view the Org as arrogant, bigotted, high-control group and anyone willingly involved is negatively affected by their association.
Some of the sweetest people you know may be JWs, but the go to meetings and hear week after week, year after year the horrible attitude toward nonJWs and other religions coming from the platform and read the same attitude in WT publications. They nod their heads in agreement, they applaude at the end of talks and they never publically question or disagree with the WT viewpoint. I cannot be convinced that the weekly indoctrination doesn't affect even the nicest of people on some level, and that I won't be treated diffently somehow because I am not part of their religious org.
I especially resent the enforced shunning, without it members would be freer to decide for themselves what to accept and what not to. Without the enforced shunning, this Organization would not even be a factor in my marriage today.
Well I rambled on enough, I could write more on the subject and well may later. Tell her Ladyship it's her turn, okay?
Michelle
