Quotes from a JW message board. I've added the hidden meaning to most.
Feel free to add more.
*A lot of bowing your head will help keep your thoughts humble.
meaning: A lot of bowing your head will help keep you in the dark.
*Don't put a question mark where Jehovah puts a period.
meaning: Don't question the Watchtower period.
*Exercise daily. Walk with Jehovah!
meaning: Exercise daily. Slap an Elder.
*Forbidden fruits create many jams.
meaning: Forbidden fruits keep jamming my thoughts.
*Give Jehovah what's right, not what's left!
meaning: Give the Watchtower the right and the left.
*Give Satan an inch and he'll become a ruler.
meaning: Give the Satanic organization an inch and it will become a
ruler.
*Jehovah doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
meaning:?????
*Jehovah loves everyone, but prefers "fruits of the spirit"
over "religious nuts"!
meaning: Jehovah loves JW's, but prefers "fruits of the spirit"
from "religious nuts"!
*Jehovah promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
meaning:?????
*Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible!
meaning: Having truth decay? Brush off your Bible!
*He who angers you, controls you!
meaning: We anger you, the GB controls you!
*He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
meaning: The GB is good at making excuses and is seldom good for
anything.
*He who kneels before Jehovah can stand before any man!
meaning: He who kneels before Jehovah can't stand any of you!
*Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back,
usually with friends.
meaning: Kindness is difficult to give to us, because we keep
coming back, usually with friends.
*Most people want to serve Jehovah, but only in an advisory capacity.
meaning:?????
*Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
meaning: Nothing ruins the truth like discovering it.
*Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
meaning: Plan ahead. It had rained before Noah built the ark.
*"Pray" is a four-letter word that you can (should) say anywhere.
meaning: "Prey" is a four-letter word that we're looking for.
*Prayer - Don't give Jehovah instructions - just report for duty!
meaning: Don't give Jehovah instructions - just report your hours!
*The Will of Jehovah will never take you to where Jehovah will not
protect you.
meaning:?????
*To be almost following Jehovah is to be almost within Satan's
reach..
meaning: To be almost following Jehovah is to be almost within
the GB's reach.
*Watch your step carefully! Jehovah does.
meaning: Watch your step carefully! The elders do.
*We don't change the "Word of Jehovah", the word of Jehovah changes
us.
meaning: We don't change the "Word of Jehovah", the Publications
department does that.
*When feeling down we should remember by knowing Jehovah we're, too,
blessed to be depressed.
meaning: When feeling down we should remember by knowing Jehovah
we're, too, busy to be depressed.
*Wisdom has two parts:
1) Having a lot to say.
2) Not saying it.
meaning: Wisdom has two parts:
1) Having a lot to say.
2) Not saying it, because you will be DF'd.
*Worry is the darkroom in which "negatives" are developed.
meaning: Worry is the darkroom in which "Witnesses" are developed.
pseudoxristos
(edited to correct errors)