10 Signs That Your JW Teenager Is In Trouble.

by Englishman 5 Replies latest social humour

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  Englishman

  1. He/She always gets violent stomach cramps/headaches around 9 am every Sunday morning.

  2. His bed sheets can stand upright all by themselves.

  3. He clips his assembly delegates badge to his belt.

  4. His bedroom window is always wide open, even when it's freezing cold.

  5. He plays all his music though headphones.

  6. He asks if he can borrow the car if it doesn't leave the garage.

  7. He delays getting baptised until he is just a little more mature.

  8. His magazine bag is full of Harry Potter books.

  9. He always washes his hands after taking Sister **** home.

  10. He always volunteers to be a security guard at assemblies.

  Englisman.

  Bring on the dancing girls!
• 

  jolly_green_giant

  . He grows his hair shoulder length, and dyes it all sorts of different colours.

  . He doodles pentagrams in the Watchtowers.
• 

  moman

  11) Eyes are somewhat GLAZED (mostly at meetings)

  12) Looks at you like your no longer related

  -fastone-
• 

  wonderwoman77

  Those are pretty good eman...I was trying to think of the signs that I was in trouble....Hmmm, I wouldn't let anyone drink out of my Mt. Dew bottle...(a little mt. dew with vodka). Is in the Secret Santa program at work. Asks her mom to live the hotel room at the convention so her and this boy can "talk"....etc.

  Thanks for the thread eman...
• 

  LB

  I knew my JW teen was in trouble when he told me he wanted to go to Bethal.
• 

  Abaddon

  Developing the ability to keep a consistant alternate reality that you portray to parents and other Dubs, which has nothing to do with your real life.

  On being caught out, know how to say all the right things to minimise the reprecusions, but carry on doing whatever it was you were doing anyway, and quite probably never get caught out again as you've learned the hardway.

  At the age of 14, conduct a detailed study into the Society's changing views on oral sex.

  Be able to justify any song lyric, by, with a straight face, being able to argue convincingly that the song is actually opposing the lyric that is objectionable.

  Manage to forget to mention to virtually any worldly person that you're a Jehovah's Witness, unless you really, really have to.

  Argue convincingly that you don't masturbate.

  Develop an interest in sub-titled foreign films with occasional glimpses of breasts, which you interestingly find you share with your father.

  Learn to check the trash if anything that is not 100% approved of disappears - books, John Lennon sunglasses, a skinny leather tie, to put it back where it came from, and to never mention a thing.

  People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...