Platonic friendship what it is or is not ..opinions ?

by caliber 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  caliber

  Here is one opinion from a discussion board

  One thing I can say is, a guy calling a girl often is something that can't be defined as a platonic relationship. I don't know what word is fit to describe it but here is the definition: the feeling of like, infatuation or love of 2 persons that neither can confront nor admit for fear of losing the other due to rejection (

  Here are the urban dictionary definitions of these above terms

  Like.....

  A term used by many junior high and high school students for having a crush .....

  a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special

  Infatuation is liking everything about a person, and seeing them as perfect. you do not see their flaws, just overlook them and act like they are perfect.

  Not to be confused as love in which you see their flaws, and just accept them

  lust....

  often confused with love, it is purely physical attraction and has no lasting effect

  A large physical attraction for an individual, that is sometimes uncontrollable and completely unreasonable

  love....

  Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete

  Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go

  Principals for deciphering platonic friendship versus romantic love (as per opinion of Joel listed below )

  http://www.joelogon.com/platonic/bitter.html#Principles

  1. _All_ closeness between people involves sexual energy... not just that between two Members of The Appropriate Sex (MOTAS).

  2. Even between two MOTAS, the way in which this energy is expressed is determined by things which are largely _not_ under their immediate control at a given time in their lives (e.g., their personalities, their childhood, and how much they've already grown personally in their life).

  3. A romantic relationship is a joint invention which, borrowing from Thomas A. Edison's phrase, is the product of _both_ people's inspiration (e.g., spontaneous fantasies suggesting romantic compatibility) and perspiration (e.g., compromise, communication, personal growth

  I am borrowing the British English usage of "fancy" to describe someone about whom one naturally and easily fantasizes in a number of different ways (not necessarily including sexually explicit ones... at least at first). For example, in the TV show "My Three Sons", the youngest son found out that he "fancied" someone (whom he eventually married) because he kept picturing her in a wedding gown... or in the kitchen cooking... or with their children... and, since they got married, I'd guess he learned to picture her in some other ways too :-].

  Now as Hillary_step would say ... " go ahead firer away!!!!!!!! " ..... ..... LOL tee hee hee !! ~~~~Caliber
• 

  hamsterbait

  The modern concept of "PLATONIC" love is based on the Sanitised Western

  interpretations of the greek texts, which use terms "boyfriend" "lover" sexually.

  Obviously school masters teaching Greek did not want the little boys doing translation

  exercises to realise what the Greek got up to when playing leapfrog.

  So they explained this "love" as very intense and close without any sex.

  In fact Platonic love meant the sexual relationship between an older man and his protogay.

  In ancient greece boys of 13 were ritually kidnapped by older men and initiated into

  adult relations for a set period.

  The greeks did not conceive of friendship between man and woman - it was a hierachical relationship

  based on family ties and marriage. A woman was a man's wife, daughter, mother, aunt, never friend.

  The Chinese had a similar view. One only had men as friends.

  The Witchtower also thinks this - one edition said of women: "they are our wives mothers and daughters..."

  No prizes for guessing that the writer here is a man.

  HB
• 

  ninja

  it will never work....plato's been dead for years
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  My Georgia History teacher told us that George Washington had a woman, not his wife Martha, that he always loved. She told of how he knew that he would be written about in history books, so he was very careful not to do anything dishonorable. He kept this relationship with this other lady "platonic."

  I once had a man tell me, "Heather, we cannot help who we fall in love with." And in life, we are capable of being in love with or loving more than one person of the opposite sex. Think about it, those of you who have dated and loved more than one person. And maybe you've been married more than once. Have you completely stopped loving any of the people you really loved? Maybe your love changed, but you still love those people. My point being, you can love one or two or more people at the same time.

  If you're married or committed to someone you love dearly, does this mean you will never meet another person that will come to love?

  Here's the platonic part: you love intensely or deeply or mildy even, but you don't allow deep romance or sexual situations to develop between you. This has happened between Catholic Priests and Nuns. They have taken vows of chastity and if they want to keep those vows, then they must keep things on a platonic level. George Washington and his lady love.

  I know people who are very faithful to a mate or love, yet they love another very deeply. I've experienced this on varying levels myself over my lifetime. To allow sexual expression to develop would actually ruin most of these relationships. These are my observations and feelings. I don't think there is a description of platonic friendship or love that is set in concrete.
• 

  caliber

  I believe the fire test in the value of a platonic relationship is to ask your self..

  if you are married to another .... is this platonic relationship an added bonus or addition accentuating

  positive aspects of your marriage or is it negative, critical tearing down your current relationship ?

  Are they being so supportive to you to the point of lacking objectivity to maintain your friendship with little

  or no regard for your partner (the other side of the untold story ) ? A sign I seen on an insurance mans' desk once...

  "Many people don't actually lie.. they just present the facts in such a way that you can't see the real truth ! "

  What is the subject matter about ? .... does it mostly present a negative image or conclusion ?

  If on the other hand if you have up building mutually exchanged ideas .. it's a win win situation .

  Caliber
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Well said.