From crap to Lemonade and Back

by Farkel 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    It is amazing to me how the Watchtower can turn crapinto phony lemonade, and on the rare occasions when they do have real lemonade, they have this unerring ability to turn that into crap!

    Watchtower makes a false prophecy about yet another end date = crap.
    Watchtower says that while end date was dead wrong, it was a good thing because it invigorated so many people to work even harder than normal = phony lemonade.

    Watchtower fires most people at Bethel, leaving a good number of them without job skills, real world work experience and money = crap.
    Dubbies praise the "new arrangement" as being a "blessing" from Jehovah = phony lemonade.

    Watchtower dashes all hopes of immediate deliverance by trashing its half century of tying Armageddon to the lifetime of people who witnessed 1914 = crap.
    Dubbies claim that prophecy can only be understood AFTER it is fulfilled=phony lemonade.

    Watchtower makes yet another false prophecy = crap.
    Watchtower blames dubbies for believing false prophecy = double crap.
    Watchtower leader FW Franz says false prophecy would have been true prophecy but people wanted too MUCH for it to be true = triple crap.
    Hundreds of thousands of JW quit because of crap false prophecy= great lemonade!
    Watchtower says false prophecy is good because it "weeds out" those "serving for a date" = phony lemonade.

    Watchtower says ALL Elders are equal. That includes regular elders being equal to Circuit Overseers, District Overseers, etc = lemonade.
    Watchtower says that while all elders are equal, some are more equal than others = crap.

    Watchtower says old light can never be extinguished by new light; it can only be made brighter = lemonade.
    Watchtower routinely extinguishes old crappy light and replaces it with new crappy light=crap.

    Watchtower says women are weaker vessels and men are ultimately their masters=crap.
    Watchtower says to treat women with respect=absolute bullcrap!

    Watchtower says rape is a horrible crime=lemonade.
    Watchtower says sister who was raped "wanted it"=crap beyond disgusting crap.

    Watchtower says for decades that good Christians would not have children until after Armageddon=crap.
    After decades of disappointment over the failure of Armageddon to arrive as predicted, Watchtower says it is a blessing from Jehovah to delay it so many more people will still have a chance to escape destruction=phony lemonade.

    The Bible says lying is wrong. Period. = lemonade.
    Watchtower say lying is not wrong if people don't deserve to hear the truth=crap.

    Bible says divorce except on the grounds of adultery is wrong=lemonade.
    Watchtower says divorce on the grounds of "absolute spiritual endangerment" is fine=crap.

    Jesus said, "you received free, give free"=lemonade.
    Watchtower says, "you received books, you pay for books"=crap.

    Jesus said, "sell all that you have and come follow me."=lemonade.
    Watchtower says "come follow me, and give ME all that you have=crap.

    No matter what the WTS says, it is a fact that you cannot SHINE crap.

    Farkel

  • BurnTheShips
  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    it is a fact that you cannot SHINE SHIT

    Actually, a recent Mythbusters episode proved you can polish a turd.

    In any case, excellent post.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    There is no other way to put it. Poop just doesn't cut it.

  • cluless
    cluless

    Enjoyed the resent posts. They have a special combination of black humor and a clarity of super realisam that is thought provoking and funny.

    Clueless

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