Talk #3 - "Being Molded by Jehovah"

Confession

[Totally realistic setting: Daughter having a nice chat with Mom... Working On: Gestures... Remember to use the word "well" at the beginning of every possible sentence...]

MOM: Well, Jilly, is everything okay? You have a puzzled expression on your face...

JILLY: Well, Mom. I've just been wondering all day. How does Jehovah mold us??? [Hold hands up and squeeze them together dramatically, like you're molding something.]

MOM: Well that's a good question, cutie-patootie! While "the world" has all sorts of freakball, pagan ideas, I've always thought it was good to get Jehovah's viewpoint on matters. [Point up to the sky.]

JILLY: Well okay. So should we turn to the scriptures?

MOM: [Smile knowingly.] Welllll, that's not necessary, pumpkin. We have God's channel to guide and direct us. You see, sometimes the Bible, [hold it up.], while being the inspired Word of God, can be confusing [make "crazy" circles with finger near side of head] when it emphasizes how there's only ONE mediator between God and man: Jesus Christ.

JILLY: Well isn't that true?

MOM: Well it all depends on what you mean by "true," pookie-head. See some types of "true" are plain and obvious. For instance, if white, flaky crystals are falling from the sky, we know it's snowing. And if our doorbell rings, we know someone pressed it.

JILLY: Well yeah.

MOM: Well, then there's another type of "true" that relies upon the Faithful & Discreet Slave, as represented by the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, as our Mother.

JILLY: Well, like, how?

MOM: Well, as an example, say a young person in the congregation claims one of the elders did inappropriate things to her in private. [Point down to your lap area.]

JILLY: Well like Sissy?

MOM: Well, yes, like Sissy. And, say, a judicial committee, as appointed by The Society, finds that nothing inappropriate did actually occur, since there were no other witnesses. Then, even though it seems like the young person is telling the truth, we have our "Mother" to tell us what the real truth is.

JILLY: Well, is that why we don't talk to Sissy anymore?

MOM: Well, that's right, huggy bear. Unlike us, Sissy decided not to rely upon God's organization for every single flipping important thing in her life. And it's in dealing with difficult things such as these that Jehovah is molding us . [Make molding gesture with hands again.]

JILLY: Well I see now. But sometimes it's hard, Mom. I mean, I miss Sissy. And, plus, I thought you were my mother, and now you're saying the Watchtower Society is my mother?

MOM: Well, I know, princess. It's hard for me too. But I find Xanax helps tremendously.

JILLY: Well, can I have some Xanax too?

MOM: Well, I'd hoped we could delay this, but I suppose it's inevitable. Let me break one of my super-ultra-strength, two milligram tablets in half for you.

JILLY: Well, thanks Mom.

MOM: Well don't you worry, twinkle toes. Jehovah gives us things like Xanax so we can be more easily "molded," [molding gesture], by his loving organizational hierarchy of octogenarian men in New York.

steve2

Well, all I can say is, "all's well that end's well".

Meeting Junkie No More

That was a "DEEP" talk..."meat in due season" (I now cringe at those words)

sweet pea

I'd pay good money to see this at our local Kingdom Hall!

still_in74

i have printed off and will bring to meeting tonight , if they need a fill-in I will give it to my wife........... thanks!

DoubleVision

well put and to the point

well done.

well balanced

well I mean, good job

well sort of

well I think they used well way to many times

oh well

DV

Sparkplug

Well hell. That about made me sick!

BabaYaga

Well, well, well. Your gestures were much appreciated, Sister Xanax, and for that, I have marked you down with a "Gee!" Nevertheless, I ask that you meet with a group of your loving elders after this evening's meeting.

undercover

That was a "DEEP" talk...

For shallow minds...

WTWizard

I wonder if that would ever pass as a talk in the Theocraptic Misery "School". They want to hide the fact that the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger is more important than the Bible, even though they claim to adhere to the Bible.

Talk #3 - "Being Molded by Jehovah"

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