dealing with midlife & leaving the WTS

lancelink

Hello,

Quick background: I'm 47, married with two boys one in and the other out of college

Since Sept. 08 I have:

1), lost my Mother,dad is still living across the country.

2), one of my son's had several seizures, medically no reason can be found ( they think it might just be stress. He recently graduated with a bachelors degree in computer animation but except for freelancing, there is nothing out there right now. So he is still living at home.)

3) Dissasociated myself (along with my wife) from the JW's. Its a long story!

4), youngest son is still trying to decide what to do in college, he does not like living at home, but since he has no job he cannot afford to live on his own.

Suddenly I find myself having lost almost all desire to do anything.

When my kids were younger i would always be doing some project with them, it really kept me focused. Now that they are grown it seems there is not much I find interesting anymore.

I recently heard a comment taken from the latest Indiana jones movie, " you reach an age where life stops giving you things and it starts to take them away" good grief, I feel that this so so true right now. The JW mindset that everything should wrap around the hope for the future is still nagging me (just a little bit) so I'm working on overcoming this.

My wife just loves searching other religions,but I'm really not at that point yet.

I have written several stories that have been published, but I just cannot get in the "groove' for this lately

i would really appreciate any comments you have regarding dealing with mid-life and the crisis that sometimes comes along with it

llbh

Hi Lance ,

I am 52 and really enjoying my life. There were a number of seminal moments for me, one was watching my brother die age 36 (15y ago), i decided then more than ever to enjoy the life, i have.

My kids future is as secure as it can be, even after the divorce, and that was a priority for me. A year or so ago i said to a friend i am happy and willing to embrace change, as when it occurs, and i have had one of the happiest years ever.

The key for me has been to learn about myself, and change where needed. Life can be tough, no question , but believe it is also enjoyable on so many levels.

Regards David

ninja

hey lancey...read this...

1/ lost my wee mum and my old man within six weeks of each other last year

2/oldest daughter has got stomach problems...been off school for almost 4 months now....mri scans and colonoscopy/endoscopy still can't locate the illness...but blood tests showing up abnormalities in her bowel

3/left the witnesses and marked now......wife still in as strong as ever with my kids...drives me nuts....her social life goes on ....mine has collapsed

.....in other words...cheer up mate...you could be me.....he he

p.s...................don't let the bastards grind you down

ninja....in the fight alongside ya sir

oompa

hmmm i am 47 and could of written this (the part about mid-life and aging) except my kids do not live at home and did not go to college...and i miss them....i had way more fun when they were around, but recently had a weekend in new york with just them and me and it was a blast...my wife is still in btw

just today i started a thread about dreading old age and how unfair it seems....my health is pretty good as i have always been very active...but i blew out my knee in a freak accident last year and had it scoped....it still hurts and may never be the same....now had another mri...and will scope it again....this is not fair...getting old is bad enough...but this knee thing pisses me off....i did not need any assistence at body parts deteriorating......but take heart in having your family out....and how did you get your stuff published?

lets at least get the cliff notes version of your da excperiance.........good luck........oompa

and you do sound depressed....not wanting to do anything....excercise can really help...or you may need some meds for a bit....look back and find a dream or intrest you had....and do it!

Quandry

Lance,

I am 57, was "in" with my husband for over thirty years.He was an elder for twenty of those. Been out about three years now.

It is sometimes hard, because they took so much of our lives. We did not finish college, worked at low paying jobs (Oh, we were so righteous) so that we never missed meetings, didn't see our families too often (now my mom and dad have died and I have lots of time to think about the things I could have done with them instead of being super regular in service with the book study in our home), and now don't have retirement income.

Didn't mean to be so down, but just know that you are certainly not alone.

You said: I have written several stories that have been published, but I just cannot get in the "groove' for this lately.

Ah, but you do have something to be proud of. Have you ever written about your life experiences in dubland?

Hoping for all of us in this "boat" that things get better.

Finally-Free

I left the JWs when I was 45. Left my spouse a few months later. No kids. I live alone. I have a good career in IT, but I found myself caring less and less about everything. I got a bird 4 years ago, and he's the light of my life. I also took up 3d animation as a hobby a couple of months ago, and I'm enjoying that. Learning new things is always good.

W

Hope4Others

Some have told me that they started to write a journal when they left and as they look at it they see how far they have come.

I do think you come to a point in your life that you know you need a change, you need to enjoy life more, you think often about getting older....

You think about where things are heading...thats when it is time to really reflect on life and what you can do to change it, how do you see yourself 10

years from now.....if it does not look good then its time to do something now...make new friends, be out going, start taking care of your self more and

that makes you feel better inside...then things start to flow better.....find the little pleasures in life you always liked and work from there....it always

takes a bit of time but don't just let age catch up with you, and don't go down without a fight....you just got to get moving...there is so much to life

while we are here...

Hope4others