Here, for your amusement, an assortment of fundie nonsense gleaned from the wonderful wide web:
Everybody Jesuit now:
Did you know that the "Fruit of Islam" is a Jesuit group; Jesse Jackson is a Jesuit; Georgetown University is a Jesuit military fortress; George Bush junior and senior are Jesuits; the Nazis were Jesuits? They're all Jesuits, every single last one of them. Don't you feel left out? http://www.vaticanassassins.org/remedy.htm
Jesus is gonna get that wascally wabbit:
Some Christians, ever jealous of anything that might usurp attention from their precious savior, even when its a pagan bunny that's been made into a mascot for messiah's painful death, came up with a top ten list of reasons why Jesus is better than the rabbit. Jesus will never be as delicious as a chocolate bunny, these Christians concede, but he makes up for it with his crucified niftiness. The number one reason on the list is, "rabbits twitch their nose; but Jesus arose!" http://graceland.gentle.org/topten/tp0301.html
Do it yourself exorcism:
Haven't you ever had a bout of demonic possession, only to find there are no priests, or anybody else to do an exorcism? You'll never have that problem again! Just read Bill McGinnis' specially formulated prayer out loud to yourself, it will be "the same as if [Bill] were [sic] there in person with you." If that didn't do the job, you can try another extra-powerful "spiritual warfare" prayer. But be warned, McGinnis says it's "like using a nuclear weapon in a war." http://patriot.net/%7Ebmcgin/firstaid.txt
Exorcism is for pussies:
This is a page with instructions for a basic exorcism, but the really interesting part is the "recipe" for seeing a demon. To sum up the process, feline body parts are refined into an eye drop. The site warns, "it is illegal and inhumane to kill a cat and it is very dangerous to your eyes. You could go blind." http://www.logoschristian.org/exorcism.html
Stop N*SYNC living N*SIN:
Somewhere, a little girl lost her faith. She used to believe them, she used to love them, but now they're tearing her apart. It's their crotch-grabbing dance moves and "dirty pop" lyrics, that takes the joy out of N*SYNC for one little Christian girl. Won't you please sign this petition to get the troubled "boy band" back on track, so they can make Ally happy again? http://www.petitiononline.com/nsync678/petition.html
Emails from heaven:
The truly thoughtful Christian knows, in the event of his sudden disappearance at the rapture, his less faithful friends and family will wonder where he's gone. Now he can do something about it. Rapture Letters is a service that lets Christians sign up their pals to receive an automated E-mail message after Jesus beams them up to starship heaven. The message will explain the whereabouts of the truant Christians, and directions to get there. What better way is there to witness to the unbelievers than with an E-mail and a pile of rumpled clothes on the ground? http://www.raptureletters.com/
More will follow, if I can stop pissing myself.
Expatbrit