harrods

stan livedeath

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a Salesman standing right behind her – Good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help You today?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘what is the price of this Lovely bracelet?’

He answers, “Madam – if you farted just looking at it – you’re going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!”

KateWild

Haha good one xx

Kate xx

Awake at last

Good one!

We need more stuff like this.

I read it tho my hubby last night and had to let him read the last line himself.

piztjw

For some reason this joke reminds me of many of the JW teachings.

Three old men were walking down the railroad tracks when the 1st man asked the 3rd man, "Did you poop your pants?" The man replied, "No."

So they walked on and eventually the second man smelled it too, so he said, "Are you sure you didnt crap your pants?" The third man again said, "Im positive I didnt crap my pants!"

So they walked on longer. Finally it smelled so bad they pulled his pants down and said, "HEY! We thought you said you didnt crap your pants." The man looked at them and replied, "OH! I thought you meant today!"

nancy drew

And so the generations pass like rhinos that are passing gas

the sheep believe their on the brink as prophecy begins to stink