new military paradigm

by John Doe 2 Replies latest social humour

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    > New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
    >
    > I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
    > terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
    > the
    > whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight,
    > they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military
    > unit until you're at least 35.
    >
    > For starters:
    >
    > Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
    > only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
    > additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
    >
    > Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is
    > a
    > dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We
    > are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ####### that desperately
    > deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
    >
    > An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always
    > get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and
    > can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
    > fanatical son-of-a-#####.
    >
    > If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
    > them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
    >
    > Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and
    > yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
    > appreciation
    > for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
    > house, away from the screaming and yelling.
    >
    > They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
    > and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
    > did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
    > Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... er .. One.'
    >
    > Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
    > seen anyone outrun a bullet.
    >
    > An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
    > shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
    > figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
    > of his head.
    >
    > These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
    > more
    > about life before sending them off into harm's way.
    >
    > Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last
    > thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed
    > off
    > old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
    > years are already behind them. Also, we won't get in trouble for
    > mistreating
    > prisoners.
    >
    > We won't take any.
    >
    > If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the
    > first night!

  • carla
    carla

    Cute! thanks, I'm sending it to some military people I know!

    aah, now for the 'it's not politically correct crowd' to chime in.

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    LOL!

    That one's going out to every sergeant in my unit.

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