I'm an ex-dub in Dorset, England, which isn't a very good place to be an ex-dub

by Psychotic Parrot 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  Psychotic Parrot

  Most people here in the Poole/Bournemouth area of Dorset (and i know i'm generalising) are not very... well, inquiring minds seem to be an aquired taste around these parts. I mean, there are lots of intelligent people, but they tend to be the ones who steer clear of 'the troof'. Those who are in 'the troof' around here don't tend to have the neccessary brain capacity required to realise they are in a cult & thus they don't leave in great numbers, & those who do leave tend to do so for shallow reasons (they want sex) as opposed to my reason for leaving (i realised it's all a bag of shite). Well, i guess there was the sex issue also, but yeah anyway...

  I feel a bit isolated at the moment, everyone that i know is either a dub, is involved with some other religion (i have no interest in religion anymore) or has never been involved with religion at all. The only ex-dubs in my area are 2 of my cousins & i don't get along with them that much, and they only left for the above stated shallow reason, they'll probably go back when they're older.

  Does anyone else have this same problem? How do you deal with it? I guess my best bet is just associate with those who have never been involved with religion, they're the people i get on with the most, still it would be nice to have some friends who are actually in the same boat as me. My mum (she's a dub) asked me what my ideal girl would be the other day, and i replied with "another ex-dub", which is pretty much the truth, although i did say it mainly to spite her.

  Are there any other ex-dubs on this site who live in Dorset?
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  beksbks

  When I left, many years ago now, I went straight out into "the world". If you were born in, as I was, it's great to get out there and learn all the wonderful things the world has to offer.

  Then you have us to commiserate over the past with
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  dinah

  Love your user name.

  I agree with Beks. Just get out there and see how the world works. It's not the evil place we were taught (at least not all of it). Don't worry about religion for awhile. I still believe there are good people in all of them and your life does not need to revolve around that.

  About the born-in part, can I ask a couple of questions? At what age did you leave? Were both parents in?

  And yes, I agree that those of us born-in can communicate a little easier. I guess it's just a common background......at least the WT was uniform!
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  free2think

  Hey PP I felt the same way when i left, it was very isolating anad i felt very alone. I think Beks and Dinah have some great advice. It takes time.

  This forum is a great place to come and vent and get advice from people who have been in the same situation as you.
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  Psychotic Parrot

  Thanks for the advice people :)

  In answer to the questions:

  I left in 2006 (around the time of the Kingdom Ministry stating that we had to update a less than 20 year old book of prophecy because it was already embarrassingly out of date), i was 18 years old at the time, and both of my parents (& just about everyone else in my family) is still in. I am considered by the rest of my family to be a prideful young man who needs to wake up to reality, i can understand them thinking that, but they are nevertheless utterly wrong. I was never baptised but did become an unbaptised publisher a few months before i stopped going to the meetings, although ironically i stopped publishing within a month of becoming an unbaptised publisher. The last time i seriously considered going to the kingdom hall was the evening of the 2007 memorial, but i decided not to at the last minute.

  I just wish at least someone else in my immediate family would see the light, perhaps then i wouldn't feel so alone :(
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  dinah

  You were never baptised. You're family has a legal loophole so they can still speak to you. How did you escape getting dunked at 14, if you were born-in to two Dub parents?
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  Satans little helper

  PP, are you in Bournemouth? I have family there and you would be about the same age as my step bro.

  Drop me a PM and we can chat. I live in Australia now but can totally relate to how you feel, I left at 18 for completely shallow reasons; although I had been aware that it was bullshit for a couple of years before hand.
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  Gladring

  When I was a kid, we were in Swanage, Dorset.