by compound complex 9 Replies latest jw friends
Greetings:
If you didn't initiate contact with children or other relatives, would there be no communication whatsoever? I realize that estrangement over JW-related issues is a huge factor.
I have friends whose grown children call DAILY.
Does other's failure to stay in touch indicate indifference or simply sheer busyness, in your humble opinion?
Thanks!
CoCo
Since I have been out, my mother has called me once, but I do call her every couple of weeks. She is the only contact I have with my JW family. So for me, yes, contact with my family depends on me.
I found that when I moved to another congregation even in the same town, that contact dropped off, even though I was still a "good" attending jw.
The thing to wonder is how much did they initiate contact when you were both jws.
I found that most contact revolved around attending the same congregation and contact at the meetings, before and after, rather than independent of that.
Blondie
I stay in close contact with my grown children. However, you bring up a good point.
Even when I was "in" and an elder I initiated all phone calls to my aunts, uncles and family friends. One day I wondered what would happen if I waited for their call. So, about 10 years ago I stopped calling and am still waiting.
I don't have any kids and my parents have passed on. I no longer have any JW family. My sisters, who were never JWs, are really good about contacting me a few times a week. I'm really grateful for that, considering how little I bothered with them during my 20 years as a JW. They're treating me better than I deserve.
W
It's a back-and-forth kind of thing. It really has nothing to do with JWism in my case.
My JW mother actually puts forth an effort now, much more than she did when she was younger.
It doesn't matter to her that I am inactive (as far as staying in touch). I think it's just her
reaching past retirement that has made her more in-touch.
My non-JW father is better at reaching out now that I am not a JW.
But for years, it was mostly my responsibility to reach out to any family members.
I like that they take a more active role now.
Thanks, Friends, for your helpful comments. I guess we're all in the same boat.
Till tonight,
CoCo
I actively keep in touch with my children, siblings and parents. My children and parents are pretty good at keeping in touch also. However, my siblings never initiate a call. I always do the calling.
I keep in touch with my mother by email. It is very frustrating because I listen to all of her JW crap, while I can say nothing about my beliefs. Or well, I can. . . but it wouldn't go over very well. Otherwise, I have nothing to do with the rest of my family - and yeah, I am okay with that.
Purza
My sister will ocossionaly talk with me, but it has gotten to the point I only hear from her every other month. My mother will not speak to me at all. I called yesturday as a matter of fact just to tell her I love her, my grandmother picked up. I usually leave a message that just says, "Hi this is your unwanted son, just wanted to call and say I love you and hope you guys are doing well. I am doing well and I just wanted you to know. Take care, I love even though you won't speak to me." Usually they don't pick up at all, but as I said my grandmother (in-law) picked up the phone and the conversation went like this:
GM: "Hello"
CS: "Hi is this ****?"
GM: "Yes"
CS: "I know you don't want to speak to me, but this is ******** and I was just calling my mom to say hi"
GM: "Your mother doesn't want you calling anymore"
CS: "Well I am still her son and I'm still here, I am going to keep calling"
GM: "You know it is making things very hard on her when you call"
CS: "You know its hard on me that my whole family wont speak to me, you know I have feelings I am still a human being..." and with that she hung up on me.
The whole thing sucks, and I am at a loss as to how to create even just a little communication. I would give anything to be able to give my mom a hug and hear her laugh, it has been three years and we have only spoken on the phone once in those years. She told me to never call again, at the time I said I would respect that request but later decided I would not. By not calling I make it easy for her to forget me and I figure by calling I am reminding her that I exist and maybe it will make her think about cult issues. Maybe not, either way nothing is going to stop me from calling my mom every now and then and telling her I love her.
CandleS
